November 13, 2017

menjadi wanita

kasihan seorang perempuan.

diam-- dia lemah.
lantang-- nampak salah.
mesra-- dia sundal.
pasif-- suami gatal.

kahwin-- "bila beranak?"
tak kahwin-- pasti digelak.
berzuriat-- xcukup sempurna.
tak berisi-- lagi dikata.

berhijab-- tak cukup labuh.
tanpa tutup-- lagilah heboh.
setia-- dimadu sana sini.
curang-- dicanang keji.

terlalu cinta-- dimain2kan.
terlalu berjaga-- dimarah2kan.
sering nangis-- rimas selalu.
mata kering-- dipanggil batu.

orang mendosa-- yang salah perempuan.
bila pahala-- lelaki diagungkan.
buat betul-- pelbagai dipersoal.
buat silap-- sekampung berbual.

betapa kasihan;
betapa kasihan.

~ tulisan Fynn Jamal, 2012.

p/s: kuatlah untuk diri sendiri disaat yang dipercaya hanya membatu sepi hilang...hanya Allah yang kekal.

October 18, 2017

a tanka from Man'yōshū

Narukami no sukoshi toyomite
                  (a faint clap of thunder)
Sashi komori
                  (clouded skies)
Ame mo furanu ka?
                  (perhaps rain comes)
kimi wo todomemu
               (if so, will you stay here with me?)
. and the reply //
Narukami no sukoshi toyomite
              (a faint clap of thunder)
Furazo to mo
             (even if rain comes not)
Warewa tomaramu
             (I will stay here)
Imoshi todomeba
            (together with you)

September 6, 2017

and you are one and a half day away from home..

all our life, we look for someone who will make us feel whole and complete...sort of jerry maguire's 'you complete me' to zellwegger in the film (can't recall her character in the movie)....haha, i do love romantic chick flicks, so long that it doesn't makes me vomit..

but little did we realise, in this world, no one can complete you, what they can do is perhaps just, provide you with all the support you need, and some glimpse of happiness that a relationship may provide...but ultimately, you have to realise that, completeness (i.e. perfection) lies only with God. and you shouldn't, ever allow yourself to find perfection within any mortal soul. for a mortal is fallible, prone to humaness, and it will never be fair to put any person to such standards. they are only humans, treat them like one. forgives shortcomings, this world is a test for all of us.

find yourself in your search for truth but not in another person..and when a man (or woman, if you are a guy) comes to you, appreciate everything while he is there, for even he belongs to God, and in that realisation, treasure every moments that have been granted to you and keep it in your heart with the deepest sense of gratitude.

so that when the day comes and call for a separation, you know you gotta give, and you can still carry him in your heart without breaking yourself..

#emotaktentupasal #missing

and a little poem here for you, from W.B Yeats ;

all the words that i gather,
and all the words that i write,
must spread out their wings untiring,
and never rest in their flight,
till they come where your sad, sad heart is,
and sing to you in the night,
beyond where the waters are moving,
storm darkened or starry bright. 💞

August 13, 2017

kamu dan laut

wahai laut yang teduh, apalah arti memiliki? ketika diri kami sendiri bukanlah milik kami.

wahai laut yang lengang, apalah arti kehilangan? ketika kami sebenarnya menemukan saat kehilangan, dan sebaliknya, kehilangan banyak pula saat menemukan.

wahai laut yang sunyi, apalah arti cinta? ketika kami menangis terluka atas perasaan yang seharusnya indah? bagaimana mungkin, kami tertunduk patah hati atas sesuatu yang seharusnya suci dan tidak menuntut apa pun?

wahai laut yang gelap, bukankah banyak kerinduan saat kami hendak melupakan? dan tidak terbilang keinginan melupakan saat kami dalam rindu hingga rindu dan melupakan jaraknya setipis benang saja.

(Tere Liye – Novel Rindu: 495)

40 days..

August 4, 2017

30 days

"Allah is Omnipotent"

As I was driving to work this morning, a song aired through the radio. A realisation that has long been there came to me again.

Allah is the Best of Planner. When everything around us seems to be crumbling down to pieces, and there seem to be no glimpse of hope, He will send a way, or at least, show us how to hope again. His mercy works in mysterious ways.

For all that that we have planned, Allah's plan for us is better.
For all that we aspire to be, Allah's aspiration for us is better.
For all that we think we have grips on, Allah's hold on it is stronger.

All these hardships we had and are going through, may it bring us one step closer to Taqwa, and to feel His nearness more wholeheartedly.

Not a day goes by that I don't pray you find calmness within these bout of storms.

Surely, but slowly.

"Dari jauh beribu batu
Membawa hati yang lalu
Ku serah semua pada Mu
Segala hanya untuk Mu"

July 28, 2017

hoobastank pernah cakap sebabnya adalah kamu

today i was asked why do i like you?

i found myself a bit dumbfounded at the question, having no ready answer to give.

should i be ever ready with an answer to throw everytime someone ask of me this very same question?

i had known that i'm not a person who are easily swayed by the outer appearance of a man, having had distasteful encounters with some men who only looks good on the outside, but with little to no manners to match God's given right to him.

so why do I even like you?

is it your look? is it in the way you treat me? is it in the way you carry yourself? or is it in the way you know your place on this Earth belonging to Your Lord?

if you had asked, i would have told you, i don't have a reason.

what is love when it is conditional? what is love if it's only a reason or many reasons? and what if the reasons are taken away?

of course, you are the many ways that make you who you are.

the many deeds that you do that make you who you are.
the many words that you said that make you who you are.
and the many smiles that make you who you are.
and the many angry moods that make you who you are.
and the many other things that make you who you are..

and i had accepted the whole of it without any exceptions.

As John Powell had written so elegantly;

"So do not ask me WHY I love you. Such a question could invite only the response of conditional love. I do not love you because you look a certain way or do certain things or practice certain virtues.

Only ask me this, "Do you love me?"

That I can answer: "Yes, oh yes."

what is love? it's about being there in great times, good times, boring times, difficult times, bad times and shitty times.

p/s: hopeless romantic who would possibly make adyla gag.

p/s/s: and i'm writing so that i can remember. in case i develop Alzheimer's in my later years.