menghitung hari

ku putus kata hidup tanpa kamu

tore me in half, and then some more...and more

my love, i surrender to Allah's plan for us. 

starry nights

sometimes i wonder, do you still remember what i told you about looking at stars together, when you glimpse at the night skies full of stars..?

menjadi wanita

kasihan seorang perempuan.

diam-- dia lemah.
lantang-- nampak salah.
mesra-- dia sundal.
pasif-- suami gatal.

kahwin-- "bila beranak?"
tak kahwin-- pasti digelak.
berzuriat-- xcukup sempurna.
tak berisi-- lagi dikata.

berhijab-- tak cukup labuh.
tanpa tutup-- lagilah heboh.
setia-- dimadu sana sini.
curang-- dicanang keji.

terlalu cinta-- dimain2kan.
terlalu berjaga-- dimarah2kan.
sering nangis-- rimas selalu.
mata kering-- dipanggil batu.

orang mendosa-- yang salah perempuan.
bila pahala-- lelaki diagungkan.
buat betul-- pelbagai dipersoal.
buat silap-- sekampung berbual.

aduhai--
betapa kasihan;
betapa kasihan.

~ tulisan Fynn Jamal, 2012.

p/s: kuatlah untuk diri sendiri disaat yang dipercaya hanya membatu sepi hilang...hanya Allah yang kekal.

a tanka from Man'yōshū

Narukami no sukoshi toyomite
                  (a faint clap of thunder)

Sashi komori
                  (clouded skies)

Ame mo furanu ka?

                  (perhaps rain comes)

kimi wo todomemu
               (if so, will you stay here with me?)

.
. and the reply //
.

Narukami no sukoshi toyomite
              (a faint clap of thunder)

Furazo to mo
             (even if rain comes not)

Warewa tomaramu
             (I will stay here)

Imoshi todomeba
            (together with you)

and you are one and a half day away from home..

all our life, we look for someone who will make us feel whole and complete...sort of jerry maguire's 'you complete me' to zellwegger in the film (can't recall her character in the movie)....haha, i do love romantic chick flicks, so long that it doesn't makes me vomit..

but little did we realise, in this world, no one can complete you, what they can do is perhaps just, provide you with all the support you need, and some glimpse of happiness that a relationship may provide...but ultimately, you have to realise that, completeness (i.e. perfection) lies only with God. and you shouldn't, ever allow yourself to find perfection within any mortal soul. for a mortal is fallible, prone to humaness, and it will never be fair to put any person to such standards. they are only humans, treat them like one. forgives shortcomings, this world is a test for all of us.

find yourself in your search for truth but not in another person..and when a man (or woman, if you are a guy) comes to you, appreciate everything while he is there, for even he belongs to God, and in that realisation, treasure every moments that have been granted to you and keep it in your heart with the deepest sense of gratitude.

so that when the day comes and call for a separation, you know you gotta give, and you can still carry him in your heart without breaking yourself..

#emotaktentupasal #missing

and a little poem here for you, from W.B Yeats ;

all the words that i gather,
and all the words that i write,
must spread out their wings untiring,
and never rest in their flight,
till they come where your sad, sad heart is,
and sing to you in the night,
beyond where the waters are moving,
storm darkened or starry bright. 💞

kamu dan laut

wahai laut yang teduh, apalah arti memiliki? ketika diri kami sendiri bukanlah milik kami.

wahai laut yang lengang, apalah arti kehilangan? ketika kami sebenarnya menemukan saat kehilangan, dan sebaliknya, kehilangan banyak pula saat menemukan.

wahai laut yang sunyi, apalah arti cinta? ketika kami menangis terluka atas perasaan yang seharusnya indah? bagaimana mungkin, kami tertunduk patah hati atas sesuatu yang seharusnya suci dan tidak menuntut apa pun?

wahai laut yang gelap, bukankah banyak kerinduan saat kami hendak melupakan? dan tidak terbilang keinginan melupakan saat kami dalam rindu hingga rindu dan melupakan jaraknya setipis benang saja.

(Tere Liye – Novel Rindu: 495)