adibah's axiom

john steinbeck to thom, his son

2012-01-17T11:54:00.000+08:00

this is not an original post, but i'm in the midst of assignment and i thought steinbeck shows multiple level of good parenting in this letter.

so, for your food for thoughts, i present, the letter.

New York
November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

p/s : writing letters is said to bring out clarity in a person. sadly, this culture is dying slowly.

at peace

2012-01-10T01:21:00.000+08:00

yesterday, some lights was shed on about something i had wanted to know.i thought i will be devastated.but, i was not. i was at peace.a sister was very right about something.

plane

2012-01-05T07:58:00.002+08:00

weird dream.

this is the second time i dreamed of being in a plane that almost crashed.

but both times, the plane landed safely on water and everyone was rescued by boats nearby.

the oddest thing was this time i was so confident that the plane will not crash but will land and everyone will be safe.

of seeing the world

2012-01-03T12:32:00.001+08:00

since i was a young adult, i have always wanted to travel. to see the world. to be educated about the education culture outside malaysia. i know deep down this is what i want to be. an educationist.

when i was in form 6, i contemplated a hundred times whether i should take the MACEE papers and fly to US. i gave up that hope due to financial restraint. SAT papers was really expensive for me that time.

so, i took on journey on a different road. and what an awesome journey it has been. had great fun and distress. made great friends. met inspiring people.

so when Allah says in the Quran ;

"And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know..." (Surah Al-Baqarah verse 216)

believe it.

have faith in God.

i hope (and working on it) that one day i will be able to achieve this dream.

p/s: gambar di atas tiada kaitan dengan illuminati. ;)

my dear FUTURE husband

2011-12-28T19:28:00.001+08:00

this morning i came across this post from AkuIslam.com.

"My dear FUTURE Husband

I will cook. I will clean. I will shop. I will be the best wife, ever, InsyaAllah..
I will dress up for you. I will maintain my appearance for you. I will make sure to be the best wife I can be, InsyaAllah.. I will have children with you & I will raise them to be the best they can be. I will be the best mother, InsyaAllah..
All this - as long as you promise me one thing..

♥ Help me, accompany me in getting to Jannah! ♥ Insyaallah ♥"

It is sweet, of course. but, i simply have to do some addition to it...

so this is it, to my dear FUTURE husband. *cough*

I will cook, but it will be great if you can cook for me and the kids once in a while, especially when i'm just not up to it. and it will be even better if you are adventurous when it comes to trying new food, cause i always am. i'm not talking about eating fried cockroaches you know.

I will clean, trust me, I can clean, but perhaps you can take care of the dusting? cause i usually get super sick every time i dust. my sinus, she drives me up the wall whenever it pleases her.

I will shop, but can you accompany me? I hate shopping alone. I usually drags my mom, she thinks I shop for long hours. warnings ahead.

I will be the best wife, ever, InsyaAllah..I hope you will be the best husband too, InsyaAllah..

I will dress up for you, and I hope you will do the same. but seriously i don't like baggy clothes on guy. maybe you can refer to the new bruce wayne for advice. :P (NOT, not the bat suit)

I will maintain my appearance for you. I know you will do the same.

I will make sure to be the best wife I can be, InsyaAllah.

I will have children with you & I will raise them to be the best they can be. I will love them and cherish them. I will try my best to ensure they are educated on the Fard' Ain as well the Fard' Kifayah.. (private Islamic schools?)

I will be the best mother, InsyaAllah..and please be the best father to them, because they will want great role models to look up to, let's be just that for them. (p/s: no fighting in front of the kids, deal?)

All this, and let's help and accompany each other to;

♥ Getting to Jannah! ♥ Insyaallah ♥

*coughs*

why is this so hard?

2011-12-13T00:36:00.002+08:00

kenapa semuanya nampak susah sangat minggu ni?

:(

Hajar

2011-12-12T01:00:00.001+08:00

Dan Ibrahim bergerak pergi tanpa berpaling. Hajar yang gusar bertanya:

“Ibrahim, ke manakah engkau pergi? Apakah engkau meninggalkan kami di tanah gersang ini?”

Nabi Ibrahim tidak berpaling. Hajar bertanya lagi. Hinggalah Hajar perasan sesuatu, perasan bahawa tindakan suaminya itu bukan kehendaknya. Tetapi kehendak yang lebih besar daripadanya. Lantas soalan diubah.

“Apakah ini arahan Allah?”

“Ya.” Ibrahim menjawab.

Terus seorang Hajar berkata: “Jika begitu, tiadalah perlu gundah gulana. Dia tidak akan mempersia-siakan kami.”

Semoga Allah memberi keyakinan seperti ini kepada setiap seorang daripada kita!

p/s : Petikan artikel dari Langit Ilahi tulisan Hilal Asyraf. Baca artikel penuh di Langit Ilahi.

mak dan bapa

2011-12-09T17:58:00.001+08:00

sebagai anak, tak mungkin kita dapat membayar balik perit jerih ibu bapa yang berusaha membesarkan kita. di sini, aku coretkan pengorbanan dan kasih sayang ibu bapa ku sendiri membesarkan kami tiga adik-beradik.

masa kecil, mak akan cari ustazah untuk mengajar kami membaca al-Quran. yang paling aku ingat, semasa di ipoh, ustazah akan datang mengajar di rumah. ustazah selalu datang naik motor. kadang-kadang, aku memang akan balik lambat sebab waktu petang dihantar ke sekolah agama. sengaja balik lambat sebab nak main dengan kawan. kesian ustazah tunggu lama. kecil-kecil dah terikut 'malaysian time' secara tak sedar.

kalau di taiping, kena pergi rumah ustazah mengaji. bukan jauh pun, lorong yang sama je. tapi nak bergerak tu. ish, ish, payah benar. dah la kena pergi awal untuk beratur ambil giliran mengaji. lepas maghrib tu, memang terus bergegas. bergegas bukan sebab nak mengaji. bergegas sebab nak sampai awal, baca awal dan boleh balik awal. entah rancangan tv apa yang dikejar masa itu.

pabila malas, memang akan kena marah dengan mak. masa tu rasa "kenapalah mak suka paksa! menyampah!". bila dah tua sikit, baru sedar kepentingan mentadabburkan kalam Tuhan ini. teringat kesedihan para sahabat apabila mendapat tahu Rasullulah s.a.w akan wafat. akan terputuslah segala hubungan istimewa mereka secara langsung dengan alam syurga.

kata mak, semua anak-anak mak kena pandai mengaji Quran. sedih bila teringat ni. dulu selalu main-main. ajaran tentang kepentingan agama diajar kepada kami secara tidak langsung oleh mak. terima kasih mak. semoga syurga menjadi milikmu di sana nanti.

tentang bapa pula. aku tahu bapa memang selalu berusaha menjadi ayah yang terbaik. sebab, ayahnya sendiri pergi menghadap Penciptanya ketika bapa baru 9 tahun. hidup tanpa ayah memang susah.

bapa hidup susah dari kecil. bapa anak lelaki sulung. bapa selalu cerita dulu, pagi-pagi akan bangun untuk tolong nenek menoreh getah. dan selepas tu, kena berjalan atau berbasikal untuk belajar di sekolah. aku pernah pergi kampung bapa. jarak dari rumah yang jauh di dalam estet memang jauh dengan bandar. rasa macam picisan sahaja usaha-usaha yang tak seberapa aku buat selama ini dalam urusan menuntut ilmu.

kalau waktu cuti sekolah itu, kerja memang wajib. adik-beradik bapa 5 orang. yang lelaki dua orang sahaja. jadi bantuan dari anak-anak memang sangat diperlukan oleh nenek.

kalau pasal bapa, dia tak pernah lokek nak keluar duit bila waktu nak membeli buku-buku. terutamanya buku sekolah. dulu aku memang suka nak beli buku latihan sekolah. azam tahun baru kan selalu macam tu. mula-mula nak masuk sekolah tu, kalau boleh semua latihan nak buat. tapi bapa masih lagi setia mengeluarkan wang kalau bab nak beli buku atau apa-apa yang berkaitan dengan pelajaran.

bapa dan mak memang amat mementingkan pelajaran dalam keluarga kami. mereka tahu nilai yang terletak dalam menuntut ilmu itu. terima kasih mak dan bapa. tanpa kalian, siapalah kami.

ibu dan ayah kita bukanlah manusia sempurna. janganlah mengharapkan kesempurnaan daripada manusia yang dicipta. hanya Yang Mencipta itu maha sempurna. hargailah ibu bapa kita selagi mereka masih bersama kita. doakanlah mereka. bantulah mereka. sentiasalah menziarahi mereka. jangan sesekali menilai mereka. bukan senang nak jadi mak dan bapa. tahulah kita bahawa mak dan bapa telah berusaha sebaik kemampuan mereka. mereka berusaha menjadi ibu bapa yang terbaik untuk kita. hargailah usaha mereka itu. dan bukankah Allah tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita?

jika dulu kau anak derhaka yang tak kenang budi, berubahlah. jadilah peredup hati mak dan ayahmu. janganlah disakiti mereka. sayangilah mereka. yang paling penting, doakanlah syurga dunia dan akhirat untuk mereka.

Tuhan di langit, bantulah aku untuk menjadi anak yang terbaik untuk ibubapa ku, dan bantulah aku membantu ibu bapaku.

"Ya Hafiz, sayangilah ibu bapaku sebagaimana mereka menyayangi dan memeliharaku semasa aku kecil! dan kekalkanlah mereka dalam agamaMu, dan berikanlah mereka taufik dan hidayah."

syirik

2011-12-07T17:41:00.001+08:00

syirik itu, bila kamu percaya kepada kekuasaan sesuatu selain daripada Allah.

syirik itu, bila kamu rasa kata-kata daripada seseorang itu mempunyai kuasa ke atas kamu, dan bukan ketentuan Allah yang menyebabkan sesuatu perkara itu berlaku.

syirik itu, bila kamu mula bergantung kepada sesuatu selain daripada Allah. contohnya, kenapa kamu ni suka nak bangkang dan memberontak dengan (masukkan perkataan pilihan), selama ni siapa yang bagi makan untuk kamu? nau'zubillah.

eh, terpolitikus?

syirik itu bermula bila, kamu rasa diri hebat kerana usaha kamu sendiri. bukan kerana dengan keizinan Allah.

syirik itu bermula bila, sudah ada benih-benih ujub dan takabbur di dalam dirimu.

syirik itu dosa besar. dosa yang tidak diampuni tanpa taubat nasuha.

syirik itu menjahanamkan manusia.

fitrah kita mahu kepada Tuhan, bila menolak fitrah, binasalah manusia.

“La ilaha illa anta, Subhanaka, inni kuntu minaz zhalimin.”

Maksudnya : Tiada Tuhan melainkan Engkau (ya Allah)! Maha Suci Engkau, Sesungguhnya aku adalah dari orang-orang yang menganiaya diri sendiri.” [al-Anbiya’ 21:87]

p/s: i'm glad God let me out of the movie session. honestly, i did not want to go. maaf kawan-kawan.

christian bale ; then and now

2011-11-29T21:25:00.001+08:00

then

now

yes, i'm a fan. and this post is pointless. but still...

written words

2011-11-29T16:09:00.001+08:00

'I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.'

-Dawna Markova

words are powerful. use them to your advantage. and use them wisely

this is one day before midterm

2011-11-29T10:16:00.001+08:00

this is me writing a post before midterm. not that i can't study. but, i am not there yet. there where? there as in the studying zone.

on saturday, i took a bus ride to my hometown. there is nothing interesting about the ride per se. but, towards the end of the journey, one of the passenger, from now on, will be identified as the pak cik started making conversation with the bus driver, who will be identified as Mr Z. i, who was seated not very far behind, had the privilege to listen to their chit chat. and made some mental note to post about it.

topic 1: the malaysian attitude on the road

as a bus driver, Mr Z had been on the road long. i think he is an experienced bus driver, with probably 10 year plus experience of driving buses. when we reached Meru on PLUS, there was a long traffic, which was caused by an accident according to Mr Z. (i didn't see any accident, maybe it had been cleared). Mr Z pointed out that, malaysia has excellent highways and roads (agreed) but our drivers are apparently not as excellent as the road. some drivers who thinks that they owned the road, are unforgiveably rude, inconsiderate and in his opinion, the main cause to many road accidents in the country. he specially was detailing out how some drivers never ever give way to another car who is trying to get into their lane (cause of slow moving vehicles in the front) and when this attitude continues (still driving fast even though the car in the front has give signal) accidents that can be prevented happens.

accidents are nasty. accidents are horrid. people can dies. somebody loses a family member, a spouse, a child, a parent. why don't we think about them? why are we in a rush? everybody wants to get to their destination safely. we all wants to meet our family. so, why, oh why, are you being rude on the road? is your business more important than mine? does your life hold a higher value than mine? what is your right to decide? who are you to think you are more important than the rest of us?

so for God's sake, drive with consideration. you are not alone on that highway. there are others with you. it's not a video game where you dies and then restart. here, you dies to meet you Creator, where you will answer for your deed. and after all the good things you have done, people will think of you as that 'guy who drove like nobody's business and killed [insert name(s)] and himself.

i'm also a road user (driver). i know how we all just somehow switched on that button 'transformed to a person who spits out all sorts of bad words' when you are behind the wheels. when behind the wheel, you are right and everybody else is wrong and don't know how to drive. maybe we should turn off that button for good. i seriously don't want to use those words. so, please, let's drive ourselves into a better malaysian driver.

p/s : they did talk about many other things, but this post is far longer than what i expected. so maybe i will not dwell on the other topics they discussed.

however, just for the sake of sharing, i should tell you that most bus drivers have at least three journey (long distance destination) per day. when i heard Mr Z talked about this, i was quite shocked. he was on his 2nd or 3rd trip for that day, and was to continued for another night trip from taiping to KL. if you frequently use bus, try to stick to morning journey, since most drivers will be on their first assignment and i assume, should be well rested. we don't want our bus driver to be exhausted, and risking yours and other passengers journey to their destination.

wallahu'alam.

fuel me up

2011-11-24T13:58:00.001+08:00

'I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no “brief candle” to me. It is a sort of splendid torch that I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.'

p/s : i love G.B. Shaw. my blog tagline was his' too.

i think i want to bake

2011-11-21T00:58:00.001+08:00

i think it will be awesome if i can channel my stress by baking at the moment.

i wonder what it feels like to bake after midnight. (never done that)

no, it's nothing, just some paper work.

but, i really don't like paperwork.

now, i can't wait to go home cause there is a kitchen at home and family who will eat whatever i bake. ;)

a question

2011-11-17T18:26:00.001+08:00

what do you do, when you feel or think that you are a failure?

*thinks*

p/s : i'm looking forward to good comments

Tuhanku, Tuhanmu.

2011-11-11T19:21:00.001+08:00

Tuhan,
Ampunilah aku, aku berdosa,
sesungguhnya diriku ini hanyalah insan yang lemah,
sentiasa lalai dalam melaksanakan tugas amanahMu dengan sempurna.

Tuhan,
Ampunilah aku, aku berdosa,
sering melupakanMu dikala kesenangan,
teraba-raba mencariMu ketika kesusahan.

Tuhan,
Ampunilah aku, aku berdosa,
angkuh dan malas meminta bantuanMu,
sibuk dan lalai dengan urusan dunia yang fana.

Tuhan,
Ampunilah aku, aku berdosa,
bantulah aku mengingatiMu,
kerana aku bersungguh-sungguh mahu dekat denganMu.

Tuhan,
Ampunilah aku, aku berdosa,
jauhilah aku dari kejahatan yang pada zahirnya haq,
letakkanlah aku dalam perlindunganMu Ya Waliyy.

Tuhan,
Tunjukkanlah aku jalan yang lurus itu,
kekalkanlah aku dalam agamaMu yang syumul ini,
benarkanlah aku kembali dalam redhaMu.

shopping ; pleasure or pain

2011-09-26T01:07:00.000+08:00

why is shopping a pain in the brain ;

1. it's almost always impossible to find a shoe that I will like and is COMFORTABLE to my sole. shoes designed for women these days are ridiculously uncomfortable, expensive, impractical and are not made for walking!! it is better to walk on your bare feet, trust me. and then, there is the high heels. they are the STUPIDEST thing ever designed for women. it is painful, will cause your feet to blister, and in long term, will most likely destroy your knee and other part of your organs. still, you will find more high heels than flats on display.

and when you find a shoe that is acceptable, the sales girl will duly informed you that they don't have it in your size. drum rolls, resume the agonizing search!

i secretly pray that the shoes that i own now will last forever.

2. i remember one of my bizarre experience. i was shopping for a bag, and found a bag that would do very well for me to bring along to class and stuff my files into. so, i purchased it. the next day, i had a fever. the next few hours, i was attacked with the overwhelming need to vomit every time i look at the bag. the next minute, i grabbed the bag and hide it the back of my closet. i thought i will very much to get over my 'temporary madness' after the fever subside. well, i did not. i still very much feel like throwing up every time i looked at the bag. the next week, i sold the bag to an aunt for rm20.

did i mentioned i bought it for rm70? good riddance, honestly.

and i never went out shopping for bags since then.

the pleasure ;

3. i love groceries shopping! (you will keep hearing this, adyla) it is always so much fun to shop for the home. i used to follow my parents when i was young, just in the hope to secretly include some illegal items in the cart. and irritates my mom later when she detected it on the cashier counter. now (still young), i like browsing for items at the market, just looking out for extraordinary and interesting things people use in their cooking and gadgets to make life in the house simple and well, uh... clean.

4. books. for the obvious reason.

now, i'm just out of ideas.

gamjajeon or, in simple language, potato pancakes

2011-09-19T17:12:00.000+08:00

i had always wanted to make gamjajeon (not ganja, pleasee), since i saw Hyori made them in one of the episodes of family outing, and the guys were making beeline for it.

so today, fueled by a hungry and roaring stomach, and of course, athirah's upload of her eating out and savoring korean cuisine, i made a mad rush to the kitchen and started peeling some potatoes.

this was the first time i actually spent under 20 minutes in the kitchen and left it armed with something edible.here's a photo of it;

it looks a bit like malaysian 'cucur', but the main ingredient here is potato instead of just plain flour in cucur.

ok, who am i kidding, it looks exactly like 'cucur'.

and tasted like 'cucur' too. (my mum's comment T-T)

according to the recipe, this pancake will taste great with some korean style dip.well, i say, they haven't discovered the very malaysian chilli sauce.

:)

oh, hello

2011-08-14T10:11:00.001+08:00

it has been 4 months.

this is hard

2011-04-20T22:27:00.001+08:00

i'm trying my best to follow the path i want to take here. that one step, is hard, but the next few steps, are just as tough.

dreams, they don't come easy. family and friends, please pray for me..and for yourself too.

and as for audit, the only think i can think of when preparing my audit WP is, if people are honest, all audit firms will be out of business.

apparently accountability is, not, the best policy in some companies.

4 months and some more to go.

i am staying sane by trying my best to find amusement wherever you can find one, when looking through companies accounts. honestly, it does help when you sometimes feels like you are wasting away your life doing something you don't truly believe in.

about the amusing oneself when auditing, well, like today, while looking through a co's documents, i saw a post-it note on one of the documents saying '...please take this document out of the file when sending it for audit..'

i can't help but crack a smile.

routine is the hallmark of civilization, so say lady danbury

2011-04-06T22:29:00.004+08:00

to be honest, i did not expect this lack of ideas on what to write during my internship period. it is just that, my life has fall into a routine of which i'm comfortable to live with, and that means less time on laptop and more quality time with family and my books.

which also translate to any brilliant ideas passing through my mind will most probably pass by without being written down. and don't suggest writing them on paper to me, i usually need some sort of weird mood with all the conditions met (quoting jae suk 'the timing is now')

so yes, my spooky mood is here, just several thoughts i had during the week in a flash.

---

truly? another fall from MACC building? one prominent politician was reported saying 'lepas ni, kalau nak pegi BPR, bawa kain putih siap-siap'

---

i attended Syeikh Riad weekend courses. honestly i had never met another figure like him. he must be the most exciting religious teacher whose class i had attended. the man was standing on the table (mind you, the lecture hall table) when giving his talk. i'll insha Allah update on important lessons i had learned from the class when this weekend class is over.

it should be noted tho', one of my favorite from last week was when he recited the Ayatul Qursy poetry style. i don't think he meant to recite it that way (or maybe he was) but it was just AWESOME!!

---

work wise, i'm getting quite comfortable with my job, but still the overwhelming love for it is just NOT THERE. i really like my the audit manager at our place, she is really cool and friendly. i also just found out that 3 staffs will be leaving by the end of the month. which led me to a very important question. lack of staffs when we are approaching peak period? Ya Allah, lindungilah kami!

---

i have finally started reading in the footsteps of the prophet by tariq ramadan. insha Allah will be joining a discussion on the book in 2 weeks time. mr ramadan; you truly are a marvelous writer!!

---

i don't understand people who watch dramas and complain that it is predictable. (psst: dearest cousins) the idiot box is turning out really idiot, with very little knowledge offering to its viewers, except for the rare case of very early in the morning, and very late in the night, where the real ilm' was discussed on air, and unfortunately, many human beings are most probably snoring comfortably on their bed.

---

that being said, makes me ponder on this next thought. what exactly are the malays planning to achieve by filming and airing dramas with very little or no moral value at
all? some dramas are even showing (and in my opinion, promoting) the corrupted way of living, especially among the teens. are we not encouraging it by allowing this type of shows to play during prime time? a sad situation, really.

and as for islamic dramas. please... do the main hero all have to be polygamous? unfortunately, this genre usually carry the same plot. all pious Muslim men are polygamous.

---

for God's sake.

tuesday

2011-03-22T22:48:00.000+08:00

today, i left late for work, and was home early. this is what i called a wonderful day.

seriously, my ideas flows like water at inappropriate time, aka, working hours.

right now, i'm just a hopeless case trying to write something decent for this blog.

i went out last weekend with two of my enroaching old seniors. thank you for the company sis. and for that idea you had poisoned into my head.

i (will) try (really, i'm trying here) to write soon.

love,
adibah.

(since when do i end my post like that?)

tout ce qui brille n'est pas or

2011-03-14T21:42:00.003+08:00

well, since i promised, and one day late at that.

so far, those invoices only inspires me to burn them in the deepest pit of hell instead of torching any 'hidden' interest within me.

i love my morning walk. only God knows the 1001 things that occurs to me during the walk. i shall call it my morning meditation walk.

i have develop a 'tendré' for cheese tart. i have also come out with a religious routine of eating the tart while reading my book every night before sleep. heaven. yes, every night.

today, i finally met a guy (i repeat, a guy) with absolutely no sense of direction on the road, that I, i mean, I, had to tell him the proper direction. never mind that i told him to take a wrong turn at first, i also single handedly managed to direct him back to the correct road. he is a colleague.

i dislike doing audit outside. KL traffics give me nasty headaches.

this internship thing has finally direct me into a line of thoughts. i really need to seriously start planning for what i must do after graduating. no more consequences be damned. i'll be damned if i let that happened instead.

i also think that me and my friends should have stick together at one audit firm to make this whole thing a bit bearable. since, i always ran out of polite conversation after 2 minutes. and who wants to hear my worldly rantings here? besides, silence only feels right when you are in the right companies.

life

2011-03-10T22:38:00.000+08:00

my abandoned blog.

i miss you.

i promise i will update this weekend.

:)

why?

2011-02-21T23:59:00.004+08:00

may i be so bold to ask, why do i have to find out about this air asia sales 30 minutes before the counter opens?

and may i be so bold to ask, why is my partner in crime who will be most open to this idea sick and unavailable on the very same day?

and may i be so bold to ask, why the is all the travelling date fell on our holidays?

really? God.

tell me You have better plans for me.

i will just put my faith in You.

the reason to why exactly reading JQ is pure delight

2011-02-20T22:31:00.004+08:00

'Perriwick!' he bellowed

Perriwick materialized as if Blake had conjured him. "Yes, Mr Ravenscroft?"

"Our guest had a slight accident," Blake said, waving his hand toward the wet spot on the carpet.

"Our invisible guest you mean?"

All Blake did was say, "I beg your pardon?"

"If I might be so bold as to make a deduction based upon your behaviour of the past few days, Mr Ravenscroft-"

"Just get to the point, Perriwick."

"You clearly did not want it to be made public that Miss...ah...Miss....er...shall we call her invisible-"

"Miss Trent," Caroline supplied helpfully.

"-Miss Trent is here."

"Yes, well, she's here and that's that," Blake said irritatedly. "You needn't pretend you don't see her."

"Oh, no, Mr Ravenscroft, she is clearly visible now."

"Perriwick, one of these days I am going to strangle you."

"I do not doubt it, sir. But may I be so bold as to-"

"What, Perriwick?"

"I merely want to inquire as to whether Miss Trent's visit here is now meant to be made public."

"No!" Caroline answered.

"Of course," Perriwick replied with a smart bow. "Now, if you will excuse me, I will see to the mishap."

"Thank you, Perriwick," Blake said.

"If I might be so bold, Mr Ravenscroft-"

"What is it now, Perriwick?"

"I merely wished to suggest that you and Miss Trent might be more comfortable having your tea in another room while I tidy this one."

"Oh, he's not having tea with me," Caroline said.

"Yes, I am," Blake ground out.

"I dont see why. You yourself said you didn't want to have anything to do with me."

"That's not entirely true," Blake shot back. "I very much enjoy crossing you."

"Yes, that much is clear."

Perriwick's head bobbed back and forth like a spectator at a badminton match, and then the old man actually smiled.

"You!" Blake snapped, point at Perriwick. "Be quiet."

Perriwick's hand went to his heart in a dramatic gesture of dismay. "If, I might be so-"

"Perriwick, you're the boldest damned butler in England, and you well know it."

padan muka

2011-02-19T17:23:00.005+08:00

seriously, serve me right.

once upon a time, i used to inwardly laugh and wonder at those who suffers from insomnia. seriously, how hard can it be to fall asleep?

once upon a time also, i could fall asleep under 30 minutes after i put my head on the pillows.

lately, it is getting longer, and worse, i find myself unable to sleep at all. and to make things complicated, my whole body is actually tired and wants to sleep.

for example; i slept at 130am last night. i was tossing around until 3am before i finally fall asleep. and woke up at 430am. because of those damned blood sucker called mosquitoes.

at first i tried to ignore them. but it got really bad, i was cursing and got up and started searching for my long forgotten electric mosquito repellant. i made quite some noise despite my best effort to remain quiet, as it is a devastating task to locate an item you can't remember where you last seen them. after 10 minutes of going up and down from my chair, i found them and put them to work.

and then the next problem. again, to face the insomnia cycle twice in a night.

i finally did fell asleep, and got up at 830am, which is, really, thank God as my exam was at 9am.

i just must complain this out loud.

despite my best judgement

2011-02-15T23:49:00.006+08:00

so, i ended up reading downloaded e-novel last night and half day today.

result? i think i had found a really great author in the genre of historical romance.

judith mcnaught is to romance genre what agatha christie was to the crime and thriller.

i honestly adore agatha christie's books. i had never really found another crime/thriller genre author who lived up to chritie's writing style and plots.

christie's stories were so wildly unpredictable. (except for the suspicious appearance of Monsieur Hercule Poirot at the soon-to-be-crime-scene, somewhat similar to that of Mouri the Detective and Conan in the Conan series)

so was mcnaught's. i had just finished reading her very first novel, written over 20 years ago, and truly, it was brilliant. i mean BRILLIANT. it make me jump in my seat ok. and makes me wants to get myself a punchbag just so that i can let out my frustration. oh, this novel i read was titled; whitney, my love.

the story might had been stretched a bit unnecessarily, and well, it is a NOVEL. but still, the pace of the story was very fast and not dragging.

enough said. and to adyla, no wonder your sister liked her. ;)

have i told you they are both brilliant?

self reminder

2011-02-13T18:13:00.004+08:00

   you don't like this. 

hi adibah. do you remember me? yes, i am your alter ego. no mr hyde. don't worry.
i am just here to remind you to NEVER EVER again buy red meat when you are eating out with your friends. you DON'T LIKE red meat. remember? by the way, i don't like red meat too! it sucks. even your body never quite agree to red meats. so, listen to us and don't eat red meat ever when you go out.

just like today when you took a piece of red meat (because you think it looks yummy) and ended only consuming only a shred of it. u bloody fool! and the food was expensive! money gone just like that.

just reminding you.

now i shall be off.

i wish my exam answers was this long.

2011-02-13T15:14:00.004+08:00

disclaimer: this post represents only a certain number of 'wise' Malaysian people and does not represent Malaysians in general. i use the word 'malaysians' just to ease my job of writing this.

if you are a malaysian, you should know that as far as we Malaysians are concerned, we like to discuss matters of absolute no great importance in a lengthy details even the newspapers are doing coverage of these issues. honestly i do not blame you The Stars, Berita Harian and all. the truth is good stories sell. and you want to sell your papers.

it is just that well, since tomorrow is Valentine Day, everybody (especially the Muslims) want to talk how evil and hideous are this celebration. from the Deputy Prime Minister to the commoner (me) wants to talk about it. the difference? one get his opinion published on a national level and one don't. ;)

wait, actually i do not want to talk about how evil and hideous this celebration is. i'll just make one statement about the celebration from Islamic point of views, and that is, the mainstream idea about what Valentine day is all about goes against the teachings of Islam unless you are a married couple. so there you go.

now, let's talk about we Malaysian Muslims, who goes all out to 'educate' and 'remind' the Muslims about how dangerous Valentine day is.

problem 1:

a guy from PAS youth (PAS youth divison is going to 'check and monitor' sinful activities at whatever area they had decided on) claims that valentine day end result is babies getting dumped in the trash bins. but think about it, with or without valentine day, out of wedlock babies are still being dumped in the trash bins, toilets or public places. so i suggest this guys to look into a more serious underlying issues here. why do this strayed souls decided to throw their babies away in the first place? because in Malaysia, the society (Malay Muslims) especially can be very unforgiving. some even denounce their children when they found out about the sins they had done. a strong society, ideally, should support these teenagers (i believe usually it is the teenagers or young adults who dump their newborns away) and help them recover their footings in the society.

in malaysia, raudhatus sakinah is doing a great job helping girls who had to go through these type of situation. the ladies and gentlemen behind the institution have my highest regard for what they are doing.

ok, i am not against the raid if it is done correctly. however, from what i read, it is just not right Islamically. i don't quite understand the reason why our morale police needs to spy on people, waiting behind bushes looking at illicit acts (is that not a sin?) and then when they have appropriate evidence (think hadith about 4 witness and zina) jump on the couples and arrest them. and by the way, how many ladies exactly are on these raid teams? i had heard of girls who got caught in these type of raids being treated immorally by the males. seriously, what the hell?

i agree, this might not be the case all the time, but these type of stories gets into the newspaper. the one about our morale polices breaking a couple before they went too far and giving nasihat to the couple before anything happened rarely find it's way into mainstream media. so what kind of ideas are we giving to our non-muslim friends?

i think as Muslims, we should understand that our most important job is to educate and spread da'wah to others. education is the key. once you have the knowledge, the how should you act on the knowldege should be left to the individual person. the choice is yours. to do or not to do.

what struck me when reading an article about this particular issue was what was said by a SIS rep;

"SIS urged PAS to focus on real issues affecting Muslim women such as backlog of cases in the Syariah courts.

Yasmin said SIS had cases where women waited for five years for their divorce cases, adding: “In the meantime, their husbands did not pay maintenance for them and their children.

There are also many cases where court-ordered nafkah (alimony) for children was not enforced. Men get away scot-free while women are left having to eke a living to feed their children.’’

truly, what happened to our priority? take care of the children first man!

problem 2: the christian celebration or the modern day commercialized celebration?

if you want to talk on the national TV, please, at least realize that whatever you say will be watched and scrutinized by other people, even when you are talking on a show that specifically talks about religion and social issue. when a famous lady figure in Malaysia openly made claims that Christians are the one who celebrate Valentine and Christians are the one commiting all sinful activities at club, you should brace yourself for the after effect. people are cruel and unforgiving, and the dear lady should know better about the history of Valentine day. so once Mr Valentine turned St Valentine got martyred and the people who holds him dear to their heart decided to celebrate his contribution to the society. this was a bazillion years ago. and by the way, it should also be noted that in the christian faith, there are many saints and these saints are usually exclusive to certain areas. the areas where they were once a respected social figure. and one of them happened to be Valentine and so once he was widely celebrated. but after some time, his stories was forgetten (but, no worry, wiki know it all!)

"The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer (famous for the Canterbury Tales, by the way, i hate the creepy story) in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished."

so, it is actually the Chaucer Day. Mr Chaucer turned it all into a lovey dovey thing. and thanks to the media (Chaucer was the media once) and Hollywood (i blame Hollywood for everything), we know the valentine day as what it is today. it has nothing to do with the actual St Valentine, and obviously nothing to do with the Christian faith. the poor man is probably turning in his grave everytime someone think it is his fault for what is happening today. and heck, he might be a good man, i mean, you don't grant sainthood to just anyone right?

by the way, harry valentine is not st valentine ok? he is just a cute guy from my favorite book.

please please please, keep it in your head that the modern valentine day is actually a damn effective marketing strategy to make people feel guilty about not loving their loved ones enough and that means going out to buy expensive (triple price!) flowers and gift to make it up to them. and all that entails after that. nothing to do with christianity.

blame it on hollywood. they really don't care. ;)

by the way, it is not just us Muslims who are against the mainstream idea of what constitute the valentine day, read this article to expand your horizon.

so what do i plan for the Valentine Day? call wani and sing her a 'Allah selamatkan kamu'. happy birthday dearest friend!

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single organization in possession of a bad debt, must be in want of a creative accountant.

2011-02-10T15:54:00.009+08:00

now is one of those time when i get really bored and tired of my subjects (have i told you how i love them? either way drop a comment, i could go on forever on that particular subject)

and then, the idea of dropping out of school seems delicious.

there, now i can study properly.

fact

2011-01-26T01:36:00.001+08:00

my spelling gets really messed up when i am chatting. lack of coordination, i say.

Taqwa, and Abu Bakr's advice

2011-01-25T09:00:00.001+08:00

** bold texts are excerpt from Risalah al- Mustarshidin written by al-Muhasibi

What is Taqwa?

Constantly be dutiful (to constantly have Taqwa) to Allah because a Muslim is he whose tongue and hands other Muslims are safe, and a believer is he who people are secure from his evil.

Taqwa was explained as a shield between a person and Allah's wrath. and the component of this shield is iman, ibadah and good behavior. in a person, like a tree, he should has strong root (Taqwa) to be able to produce fruits (Akhlaq').

what is your idea of Taqwa? I have always heard that, loosely translated, Taqwa means fear of Allah. which is true. we should fear Him, so that we will leave all prohibitions.

let's look at this from a different angle.

say, if you fear someone, do you respect them? some of you may say yes, and some no. some people do not truly respect those they fear. they just pretend they do, for whatever reason they choose to do so.

if you love someone, do you respect them? i am pretty sure most of us will say yes. oui?

thus, maybe we could apply it this way. say you love your mother. you do not want to cause her anger and grief. you love her and have all the respect in the world for her. you will try to make her happy by doing all the things she loves and avoid all she does not.

maybe, taqwa can be applied in this sense? at least i do see taqwa from this angle. i love Allah so much, i do not want to cause His anger and wrath on me, thus i avoid all He forbids. and to please Him, i try my best to enjoin in all that is good and encouraged.

so, i ask, what is your idea of Taqwa?

another important point from Brother Suhaib (in his explanation of the bold text above)

a Muslim should always protect another Muslim from two things; his own hand and tongue.

oh brothers and sisters of faith. can we try our best to do this? i am afraid that we are slurring each other more than we care to count. and for what reason? just to see the fall of our own brethren. a hadith from the Prophet;

None of you truly believes unless he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.Do not envy one another; do not inflate prices one to another; do not hate one another; do not turn away from one another; do not undercut one another, but be you, oh servants of Allah, brothers.
A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim: he neither oppresses him nor does he fail, he neither lies to him nor does he hold him in contempt. Piety is right here -- and he pointed to his breast three times. It is evil enough for a man to hold his brother Muslim in contempt. The whole of a Muslim for another Muslim is inviolable: his blood, his property, and his honor.

(note: Imam Suhaib stated that we harm people more using our tongue and hand)

-------

Abu Bakr said, 'Fear Allah with His obedience. Obey him by fearing him. Keep your hands from the blood of Muslims, your stomach from their wealth and your tongue from their honor. And call yourself to account (muhasabah) at every thought.'

Ibn Qayyim al Jawzziyah r.a. said;

Sins start with a thought. Repel bad thoughts, because if you don't, it become desire. Declare jihad on the bad desire. If you don't it become aspirations, goals and objectives. If you still don't repel them, it become actions. And if you don't stop these actions, it become a habit. And then, to stop it will be very hard.

Imam al-Ghazali once said; 'Zina starts with your thoughts, not your eyes.'

here we can see the danger of thoughts. there is a famous saying that goes like this; 'thoughts are nothing if you don't work on them.'

as a Muslim, we have been constantly advised to purify our thoughts. I believe that somebody told me, for every good thought we have in our mind, we are granted with reward from God. as for the bad thoughts, we will not be punished for it unless we act on it. aren't we the luckiest people on earth?!

only God knows how some thoughts just crossed our mind without we intending it. (eh?)

danny rossi on pop music

2011-01-23T13:33:00.001+08:00

one of my favorite!

Gradually through the din of a few sounds became intelligible. The tonic, the relative minor, the second, the dominant seventh. Could he expected anything better than the most hackneyed, overused chord sequence in pop music? There had been moments in Danny's life when he had dreamed of becoming Beethoven. Now he merely longed to be deaf. For among his many virtues, Leon had the voice of a ruptured hyena. Now and then, Danny could discern a word or two of the text. There was something about 'Mars' suggesting that the rhyme 'stars' could not be far behind. And it arrived, just as surely as 'crying' followed 'flying'. At last, on the very brink of a vocal orgasm, Leon screeched 'above' harmonized by an E major seventh. The end was near and so damn predictable, that Danny had all he could do to keep from groaning the inevitable concluding wordlet, 'love'.

love+sorry=?

2011-01-21T22:35:00.001+08:00

here's the deal. have you heard of some totally mind blowing earth quaking heart breaking quote that makes some of us goes, 'wow, that's so true and sweet!' but it just do not make any damn sense in your brain? well, i heard of one. and hell, it came from one of my favorite author who happened to be a great linguist. i love you man, but truly, this is the stupidest thing you have ever wrote.

'love means never having to say you are sorry'

uh, come again?

'love means never having to say you are sorry'

but, adibah, maybe you are reading it out of context?

well, maybe i am reading it out of context, given that i have not read this particular novel (title: love story) of Mr Segal, but, have you heard, people are throwing this line around to their loved ones.

so, we come to the question, what exactly is my point?

my point is, saying sorry is a MUST when you did something wrong. and saying sorry is a MUST when you love someone, because when you are with someone you love, that means you are comfortable around them. when you are comfortable around them, you sometimes says something mean you don't mean, or something stupid you don't mean, so something crazy when you are PMS-ing.

conclusion; if you love someone, they should be the first person you apologize to if the circumstances require it. not any other way.

because bottled emotions and angers are the worst enemy to any relationship. saying sorry is simple, and it makes a lot of difference.

some interesting facts about this popular quote;

1. towards the end of the 1972 comedy 'What's Up, Doc?', which also stars Ryan O'Neal. Barbra Streisand's character coos that "Love means never having to say you're sorry" while batting her eyelashes, and O'Neal's character responds, deadpan, "That's the dumbest thing I ever heard."

(agreed. by the way, Ryan O'Neal was the hero in the movie adaptation of the book.)

2. John Lennon said, "Love means having to say you're sorry every fifteen minutes.

(what, you don't know John Lennon?)

3. in The Simpsons episode "Catch 'Em if You Can", where the Simpson family watch Love Story; when the line is spoken, Lisa objects, "No it doesn't!"

post script;

erich segal was a popular author during the 70's and 80's. if you are in MMU, you can find his novels on the fiction shelves. they are worth it i am telling you.

here is a review of my favorite of his work; The Class. it is a work of a genius, in my opinion.

the ethics of ilm'

2011-01-21T15:23:00.001+08:00

it is a good reminder to oneself that everytime before preparing to receive new knowledge, to be reminded that the source of knowldege is Allah, and only Allah. He created every single thing in this universe, and thus only the creator holds the ultimate knowledge of His creations.

it is also reminded that, knowledge, once received, should be preserved by the receiver.

in Surah Az-Zumar (The Troops) verse 9, Allah said;

Tafsir Ibn Kathir

Say: "Are those who know equal to those who know not'' It is only men of understanding who will remember.

this verse highlighted the difference between the man of knowledge and the one who do not have knowledge.

one of my personal favorite about what The Imam said was about how the fishes in the sea are always praying for those with knowledge, for the man of knowledge will know how to treat his surroundings (environment) properly.

the Imam also mentioned,the way you treat your environment,reflects your relationship with Allah.

as a student of knowledge, we should always put our effort to seek knowledge from a master (teacher), not from Syeikh Google. a teacher who pass the knowledge down to you not only pass the contents, but also the way (akhlaq and 'adab) you are supposed to treat the knowledge. this is something you don't get when your knowledge is coming from online sources. the evidence is clear. we can see how knowledge are treated with disrespect nowadays.

the Quality of a student of knowledge

1. to be sincere when seeking knowledge.
2. to set the intention right, to learn for the sake of Allah.
3. to practice what you have learn
4. to show humility.

The Prophet (s.a.w) once said; 'the knowledge is a secret between the servant and Allah. whoever broadcast it, let him go to hell'

(it should be noted that the hadith above is a da'eef)

in this age when information is available just a click away, we should be careful with the type of information we are receiving.

the Imam also mentioned about the paying zakat (alm) for the knowledge you received. in this case, the alm will be to practice the knowledge. we are also advised to make sunnah prayer before and after receiving knowledge.

It was narrated that the Prophet s.a.w become more and more generous after being visited by the angel Jibrail a.s.

explanation: Jibrail a.s visits the Prophet with the purpose of giving him the wahyu' from Allah. thus, what was demonstrated here is that we should be kinder to people around us when we have more knowledge. knowledge is suppose to make us wiser and thus we should act more kinder to everyone else. knowledge certainly raises you in your darjat, but always stay humble! for arrogance is a trait of the fallen kind.

a Muslim should also always remember, that every good deed that he does, it is a reflection of the Prophet's s.a.w personality. subhanallah!

thus, think twice before doing anything, one Muslim act reflects another. do we want to potray our Prophet incorrectly when he was the greatest man who had ever walked upon this earth?!

for my mum

2011-01-15T17:49:00.001+08:00

i have to apologize to my mother, i really cannot find time off to go back at the moment. maybe in a week or two. works are piling up. need to remove them first.

sorry :'(

today is friday

2011-01-14T15:24:00.001+08:00

this afternoon my mum called me. at first i thought it was something urgent, you know, given that she rarely calls unless it is important.

me: kenapa mak telefon?
mak: ni, nak bagitahu apa aiman cakap kat cikgu dia kat sekolah tadi.
me: oh, apadia? (excited as usual)
mak: cikgu dia tanya aiman ada berapa adik beradik, dia cakap dia ada empat adik beradik, adibah, ashraf dan aqilah.
me: *speechless*

:') noona loves you nam-dongsaeng!!

my mum must have been moved as well since she called me and told me about it. :')

a love story

2011-01-10T23:36:00.005+08:00

if you are close enough to me, you probably had heard of the title of this post. capitalism: a love story, is a documentary written, filmed and produced by Michael Moore, an esteemed man in his own way.

Moore, who is very much hated by the government and authorities, but should be well loved by the people, for he opens their eyes and spread the truth that many people refuse to see. other popular production by Moore's are Columbine 911 (a true story about a shooting in a school), Fahrenheit 9/11 among many others.

but today i will be writing a short review about his story about the brutal truth that lies behind the economic system that is adapted by many countries in the world, capitalism. this review will include interesting parts of the film, just to spark your interest. well, maybe followed by a little comment by me.

i like how in the beginning of the film, the scripts goes like this (it is better with the video, you get to grasp what was trying to be said faster):

part 1:

"Rome was the largest and the most beautiful city of the ancient world.the magnificient facade of the empire however could not conceal the seed of decay, the unhealthy dependance of the economy on slaves, the disparity between the rich and poor. Behind the splendor of the Forum,were vast areas of crowded slum. Escape from the slums was difficult for there were few jobs available and practically none for the unskilled. To keep idle citizens entertained and out of mischief, frequent games and spectacles were held at public expenses. At first, only chariot races were sponsored. But, by the reign of Trajan,brutal combat to death become popula. Earlier in Rome's history, elected representatives exercised power. But by now, every function of the government had been a absorbed by the emperor who was above the law and ruled by decree. That a people as civilized as the Romans, with the most humane system of law ever devised, could tolerate the violation of human beings is astonishing. The imbalance and irresponsible behavior of public officials would become major reasons for Rome's eventual decline."

noticed how what happens to Rome is once again happening to the current society? you may say that the documentary is in the context of USA, but, let's be honest to ourselves. many parts of what happened to the Romans are very much happening to us as well.

the Muslims of the world. we are in this deep shit of following all the ideologies propagated by the West that we forget to screen them properly before accepting their notions. we forget our roots. we left our Quran on the book shelves. we recite but we never understand. we pray physically, but never really PRAY with our heart and soul. we forget our mission on this earth. as representatives of God. to do right, and prevent wrong. thus, we are consequently paying the price.

part 2:

excerpt of Jimmy Carter address on the Energy Crisis;

"too many of us now tend to worship self indulgence and consumption. Human identity is no longer defined by what one does but by what one owns. This is not a message of happiness or reassurance, but it is the truth and it is a warning."

in the next presidential election, Carter was replaced by Ronald Reagen. During his reign, Carter was considered as one of the unpopular president of USA.

during Reagen's day as president, the household debt of the American people increase to 100% of their GDP. the people was told to live on borrowed money. and, many people got layoff-ed.

Moore's view on Reagen ; the spokes model for the President. interesting. (prior to his political career, Reagen was an actor).

saya tidak tahu bagaimana untuk memberi nama pada entri ini.

2011-01-09T00:17:00.002+08:00

latest addition. well, i just need my dose of serious reading.

politics and cool designs

2011-01-06T01:24:00.003+08:00

i was reading news 20 minutes ago. i decided that all political news if not intriguing, are nauseating.

after almost 2 years of 'investigating', the Teoh inquest ended up with the coroner giving a damn open verdict to the 'how' the political secretary died. years of investigations, and still no clear cut answer. are we too damn afraid and corrupted? are we not afraid of the Lord's wrath?

the next piece of nauseating news was; Rais denies raping his maid. Good Lord, if he did it, who the hell did we choose to run this country. a totally immoral man? and if he did not, what the hell is wrong with those throwing the allegations. can the next election comes and go without any dirty play from anyone?

and then i came across something really amusing.

right. the article was entitled 'white is no longer an option thanks to Kotex'. so, who wear pads for the world to see? humans are truly genius when it comes to wasting money and their talents.

just my thoughts.

untitled

2010-12-31T11:41:00.003+08:00

this morning, i braved myself to do an act of kindness. and i was not rewarded at all. my advance was rejected by this friend of ours. this is another case when i wondered, and wondered and wondered..

it is a public knowledge that today is the last day of the year 2010. which means, i am getting older. damn it all. and which also means, that our internship days is approaching fast. i will miss nunu,tyrah and adyla dearly. even though i am always emo-ing unnecessarily with this three people. haha, truly sorry gals. but emo i must. or i will be so unfriendly and hostile towards everyone.

jump to the next topic. i am listing all of my bad habits here today, so i can at least acknowledge their existence (hey, i know you are alive, but i want you dead) and do away with them.

1. egoistic with no purpose.

2. to admit that i do not know many things about certain issues and not give my two cents without strong facts.

3. i think this mean i need to shut up more.

4. always (jokingly) asking for a free lunch or dinner from my closest friends. this should stop.

5. do not know how to prioritize

6. hate 70% of what i learn in accounting. i must find a way to love them. i hope my internship days will serve it purpose well.

7. unnecessary emo-ing.

8. had became very unfriendly towards everyone new since two months ago.

9. need to know how to spend less of my money at bookstores.need to know how to finish one book at a time, and not start on a new book until i am done with the one i am reading.

10. to think before talking.

11. to speak up when necessary. (which, i don't do often, mostly because i am just scared to voice opinion)

12. to stop slothing.

13. to stay awake after subuh.

14. to keep my cool in the middle of a heated discussion, with my family especially.

i am getting frustrated just writing this.

but i am in for a change.

men and women

2010-12-31T01:01:00.007+08:00

i don't think i have seen men and women more at odds than i had today. you know, there was some situation at a meeting today.

sometimes i wonder if some men just don't see the that sometimes they just need to listen and shut up when a female is at the edge of breaking down to tears. especially when you had no clue to what is happening in the first place. JUST SHUT UP. a woman who went berserk not because she wants to, or because that's what women do. some situation warrants it. or should i say, some men warrant it.

and sometimes i wonder if women are capable of discussing things rationally when they are overwhelmed with emotions. (i know i can't, i will probably start shouting and ended up crying, and regretting losing control all at the same time)

interesting that. this thing called life.

an overall weird encounter

2010-12-26T23:47:00.002+08:00

i think i had a rather weird week. actually, it is more the weekend. we had a binding camp for our club committees.

i remember all i wanted to do when we came back was to cry myself to sleep.

i don't.

2010-12-18T19:01:00.002+08:00

i don't understand you. i don't understand why you think it is fine to crush others spirit. because you don't go around crushing others spirit and faith.

i don't understand why you wish others misery that you had to go through. when you know how painful it was.

and i certainly find it fascinating when you wished it upon your own kind.

i don't understand why you think it is fine to blame another person for something that has yet to happen.

i don't understand why are you still holding grudges. when it was never worth it.

i don't know if you think you are doing yourself any good when you choose to react negatively to everything.

i don't know if you think by putting all the fault on somebody else will fix the situation.

i don't know if you think money can buy love. i hope you don't.

i don't know if you know you are doing this all wrong. i hope one day you will come to see it.

i will win this battle. but i will win it clean, i will not crush you the way you did me.

because i know you don't know what you were doing.

i capture the castle

2010-12-16T22:12:00.002+08:00

i had never thought you can ever feel melancholy in the heart but at the same time feel like smiling..

i never thought the book will end like that, but i knew i did sense it will end like that..

it is actually the perfect ending to the book..

it is just that....

...well, the whole thing is really making me feeling rather melancholy.

i am looking for sad music to feed my 'rather melancholy' soul.

special update for kak ain

2010-12-15T20:12:00.007+08:00

i just remembered i promised kak ain i will update regarding our visit to the big bad wolf sales.

she couldn't join us because she was hospital bounded, dengue case. lembik betul. :P alhamdullilah, she did fully recover from the sickness.

so, this time, the sales was held at South Plaza Mall, somewhere opposite the road to where Mines is located.

i remembered the day as clear as the sky on a bright day. of course, i was so excited the whole week, wishing friday will come fast. i even suggested to adyla my idea that we should be there earlier than the opening hours, because the book we wanted might get 'ravished'. and hell, wasn't i right.

when we were approaching the sales area, i realized that i was grinning like a fool. and then i realized that adyla was doing the exact foolish thing. grinning like a fool. or maybe, we were smiling wolfishly? (at the sight of the books of course) i pointed this out loud, i think this is what happened when two book fanatics went to books sales. they couldn't stop smiling.

some pictures;

yes, there were so many people when we arrived. if i am not mistaken, we reached that at 1130am, just an hour and half past the opening hour. the books we really wanted was gone, people were everywhere in the area (somehow the crowds just failed to bother me, the crowd hater) books were everywhere, the payment line was really long, but, oh well, who bothered, since we got really cheap books.

i bought 8 books. i can only remember 7 now.

1. i capture the castle by dodie smith

2. kim by rudyard kipling

3. just so stories by rudyard kipling

4. ransom my heart by meg cabot

5. nicola and the viscount by meg cabot

6. married by morning by lisa kleypas

7. collins french dictionary

well, that's about it.

imagine

2010-12-15T19:36:00.001+08:00

i remember how one day i walked into professional ethics tutorial with such gloomy mood and walk out of the class like nothing had been wrong with my life. our lecturer, Mr Hari, tends to have that effect on people. he will blurt out some non sense and we will all burst out laughing or giggling or chuckling. today he told us not to physically attack Dr Bhama because she will crush you. i think only those in the two front line heard what he said because we were the only one shaking with laughter.

------

this afternoon, while i was closing the window at my side of the table in the room, i took a deep breath, trying to take in as much air as possible. it was raining, the air was cold, fresh, but there was no real scent to the air. but it felt good in my lung.

------

i slept early last night wishing that i will wake up early this morning, just for the sake of waking up early in the morning, but i failed again. i am trying again tonight. i do wish to forgo this un-Muslim-ly attitude of sleeping after Subuh prayer. early birds gets the worms first, after all.

------

yesterday i was reading alice adventures in wonderland. i do find it a bit peculiar. while reading, i tried to relate what lewis caroll wrote to something significant. my friend said the book is about a child being thrown into an adult world. so far, i had read until the part where alice drank yet another potion that turn her into a giant size girl.

so far, i could only relate the story of alice meeting the rats and birds who are overly sensitive to adults sometimes being overly sensitive and introvert about things that they fear. the rest, well, i am still thinking.

today however, i am reading an entirely different book. the title is i capture the castle, written by dodie smith. the book is categorized under classic. this book is quite different from many books that i have read before. the entire book is actually a journal written by the main character, cassandra mortmain. (i really like her name, i mean the first name, the family name is quite dreadful) i am only 3/5 into the books, and the read had been interesting so far. some fact: the author wrote the hundred and one dalmatians story, which is quite famous i suppose. i also just found out a few seconds ago (while writing this and googling at the same time) that this book has a movie. now, i am looking forward to watch it after the read is over.

------

while at sisters' camp, i think i learn quite an important lesson of my life. no, nothing out of the ordinary happened. it is just that i realize the better you know a person, you get more of the person. you really gets to find out more good qualities as well as bad qualities about the person. but somehow, you know, the particular quality is just so annoying (in my case intensified at the heat of the moment) it sometimes gets to your head and starts giving you funny ideas. so, i finally am admitting that my very good friend can be really annoying when she is in the kitchen. (now i am laughing while writing this, please don't kill me kitchen master, i am being honest) i am going to give myself a pat at the back because i did not snapped and managed to keep my temper checked. next time i will just mentally imagine how it would be and tell myself that it will be far worse if i am in gordon ramsay's kitchen.

i think the same applies in different type of relationships. couples who loved, get married and divorced. at first you just get the bed of roses. and then you realize you are being poked by the thorns. and when you get poked, you totally forgot about those roses. you focus on the pain the thorns are inflicting on you. not the sweet aromas the roses spread. and then you get divorced. so when you are angry, smile first, and then think of all the goodness of the other person.

the malay proverb catches the whole idea best 'kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga.

and no wonder they said put the first intention to everything you are doing as 'to please Allah first.

------

have you imagined what you will do if someone you love die? i had. i imagine what will happen if i lost my parents. it is very peculiar and odd imagining life without them. sometimes it is my siblings. i imagine what will happen if i lost my best friends. i imagine what will happen if aiman dies young. i know this is odd and rather not something anyone wants to imagine, but i remember the Prophet told us that we should remember death always. i think he not only meant death upon oneself, but also upon those surrounds you. i believe that one always have to be prepared mentally. i also believe that death is really the best motivation we can ask for. to be on your best behavior all the time, because who knows you might vanished the very next moment.

the cheshire cat to alice

2010-12-02T16:43:00.002+08:00

p/s: next book to grab!

lancelot, gwaine or arthur?

2010-11-28T18:50:00.007+08:00

psst: today's mood happened to be a happy one..

i just finished watching the latest episode of Merlin, to be more precise, the second last episode of the current season. (weep endlessly) after 40 minutes, i was like omg-ing around. i was also yelling at my laptop demanding why can't i watched the upcoming episode now. of course, my laptop told me to shut up and wait until next week to see the last episode (weep again) (a brief preview reveals that Lancelot and Gwaine will be included in a same episode for the first time, the reason i was yelling at my laptop in the first place)

a thought: are the producers mad? Arthur, Lancelot and Gwaine in the same episode? (totally drool-worthy as Najat or Yuin might say)

thoughts to myself: on a more personal level, i think watching merlin had led me to wasting my time like an idiot, for i became more interested in the Arthurian legends. when i became obsessed with something, i go all the way. so, in an attempt of trying to understand the legend, i read up quite a lot of nonsense about it on wiki. what i mean by nonsense is, apparently half of the knights of the round table were bastards, because, as it happened so, most knights were not as chivalrous as they ought to be,(the bastards fathers were also knights) the stories also narrates that arthur commited incest! yikesss! so unfit for a king! and he killed his bastard son, and was left with grave injury during his final battle with him (Le Morte d'Arthur).

it is also interesting how the girls in the legends are put at fault for some of the wrongdoings of the knights. example; Morgana was blamed for the incest with Arthur. Guinevere was almost burn at stake for her affairs with Lancelot. (shouldn't the knights be chivalrous and not go around seducing women? or at least reject when they are seduced by the wrong girls?) from what i understand, women was once told that they were the only reason Adam was expelled from heaven. i think all male writers during that time take the matter seriously and applied that knowledge quite well in their writings.

just read yourself, then you will understand. but in the first, please keep in your mind that this will be a total waste of your time. historians are still arguing if King Arthur really existed, since there are very few evidence suggesting so. until the proves revealed itself, we will just accept these tales as, well, tales. but, i am still interested.

so there you go, a total waste of your time reading blithering from my side.

but the question remains for Merlin the TV series fans, who is hotter; Lancelot, Gwaine or Arthur? don't worry, i will forgive you and love you all the same if you said it's The Dragon (hey, he spits fire, no?)

what i learn today

2010-11-27T02:07:00.003+08:00

i realized today that;

'i don't understand my own damn mood swing.'

thus, i will proceed on with my life by not trying to understand the one happening to others.

10 things i will write about

2010-10-28T16:12:00.004+08:00

the world is beautiful, but to find beauty in the midst of all things ugly, is truly challenging. but nevertheless, it is possible.

1. i can actually get a headache thinking about how un-prepared i am to face internship. today's accounting theory lecture was a pain in the brain.

2. i read (head counting) 7 romance novel, all authored by julia quinn in this month. that's a record i can never beat myself.

3. i find it annoying how i keep on reading a book, even though what i really want to do is sleep cause my eyes hurt too much and my head was spinning around constantly. still, i cannot stop reading. oh, did i mention that after the light goes off, i will creep in my bed and continue reading with the help of my phone torchlight. talks about determination. which will lead me to number 4

4. romance novels are so good. i am practically in love with them. but i am more in love with Benedict. i think i love him simply because he is the tallest Bridgerton. which leads me to five.

5. i don't exactly like reading romance novels prior to this, actually i rarely read one since after my form 1 days.

6. i thought about all the malay romance novels i read during my primary, which was sickly alike and until i reached a point where i actually declared, 'i will never ever again touch malay romance novels' and i never did since then, except for when someone throws me, (or more like i throw myself) into ramlee awang murshid book which was simply the best malay romance/thriller author i had read to date.

7. i must point out that, it was the only malay romance novel i read after my declaration of independence (of boring romance novels)

8. all of the above lead me to this point, you choose your own emotional state. if you choose to see the joy in life and be happy, you will be happy. if you choose to fret on your miseries and remain sad, you will be sad and unhappy and sad and unhappy.

9. really, everyone should read romance novels once in a while, maybe they will learn how to be happy.

10. because, simply, the world is full of unhappy people and they are spreading it at a phenomenal rate.

if you must know, i just finished reading 10 things i love about you last night. all the facts in number 3 were present. the book also inspired this post title.

until then.

when common courtesy is not so common.

2010-09-02T08:58:00.005+08:00

i simply don't understand what's wrong with young people today. (i'm actually ancient old) common courtesy simply seems to be trivial and lacking among all of them. (again, i'm not young but old) i'm kind of super sick encountering behavior of disrespecting anyone who are lower than you, not as rich as you, not as educated as you, not as good looking as you? etc etc

situation 1: the cleaner and the 'i can throw rubbish anywhere, why-do-MMU-paid-the-cleaner-for?-let-them-do-some-work-damnit-'

you should understand by now of what i mean. some students, sadly my own friends, do this often. do you notice that? OFTEN. even after giving advice, they still @#$% do it. it appears that it is impossible to make some understand that your rubbish is your responsibility. besides that, your attitude towards rubbish, somehow also reflects you personality. so, the bin is further at the front, can you just walk some yards more to disposed it properly? oh, wait, this plastic is so freaking heavy is going to pull my arms down. pftt. there you go, throw it on the grass. (hey, we have the cleaner, remember?)

next thing you will see is shits everywhere in the toilet because, hey, my shit is not my responsibility. the cleaner will clean 'em all. MMU paid them hefty sum. let's make them work all the way.

situation 2: the male species in the LRT

i'm pretty sure most of us had at least once in our lifetime ride the LRT, or any local train if it matters. did you notice anything? yes. you did. the guys. (ok, SOME guys) with zero tolerance of women.

i actually thought God make our male counterpart a lot more stronger than we are? i am positive the answer is a YES. however, they seem to lose it all once they enter the train. witnessing that some of them will almost always steal all the empty seats and leave all the fairer gender standing up. worst of them will be those who actually saw an old lady or gentleman, a pregnant lady, and mother carrying kids standing up in the crowded small space and look away in a split second. all so that they could sit comfortably before arriving destination. sometimes i had the urge to scream !@#$% YOU! but i think, may conscience always act short before that. brush up guys, even though you are dead tired, practice some courtesy will you?

and what breaks my heart is instead of young men standing up offering their seats, to these special people, an old uncle will do it, or most of the time, another woman. young men nowadays are so screwed they don't even know how to act properly. seriously, this is not high expectation in men. it's common understanding and compassionate among human beings. which apparently, is dying at a very fast rate.

i guess lex luther install some kryptonites to crippled the guys in all trains.

situation 3: the late comers.

i am one of the many people who live with the concept 'my time is only for mine to waste, not yours', so when facing life trivial moment when you colleagues or friends seem to be joyfully wasting your time waiting for them to show up or finish something, my boiling point almost always exceed the maximum. as malaysians, many are still living the concept of the all wonderful malaysian timing system. which literally translate to 30 minutes or one hour after the actual time promise. i have come to the conclusion that in this case, it's a hopeless one. there are just too many disrespectful sapiens walking around wasting others time as if it is a God's given right to them. it's all just a big chunk of bull shit.

i suggest you leave the meeting place if they didn't show up after five minutes, and didn't bother to call to inform you about their late-coming. that's two crime on their plate.

situation 4: i-like-to-stare-until-my-eyes-disengaged from it's sockets.

so you have never seen a human in your life? you have to be kidding me. oh, you don't own a TV? you lived in antartica your whole life and there was only you there? ok, forgiven. so, stare. but just don't do it for too long until they took notice of it and starts to freak out or something. some people have this way of staring that will make the stare-receiver think that he or she had something really terrible on their face. or in the case if they had just committed some crime or sin, they will think you know it and the next thing you know, you are a dead person. yeah, you totally deserve that for staring at me.

ramadhan: the last ten days.

2010-08-28T21:43:00.005+08:00

dear my sisters and brothers of faith, we are finally entering the last phase of Ramadhan, the last ten days will be here in 2 days. may Allah grant us time to see these days coming. so, what's the big deal about the last ten days of Ramadhan?

Chapter al-Qadr, verse 1 to 5

In the Name of Allah, the Benevolent, the Merciful.

1 Lo! We revealed it on the Night of Predestination.
2 Ah, what will convey unto thee what the Night of Power is!
3 The Night of Power has more blessings than a thousand months.
4 The angels and the Spirit descend therein, by the permission of their Lord, with all decrees.
5 (The night is) Peace until the rising of the dawn.

according to the ahadith, the Prophet was reported sayings as follow:

Verily this month has come to you; and therein is a night which is better than a thousand Months. Whosoever is deprived of it, is deprived of all good; and none is deprived of its good except a totally unfortunate person. (Ibn Majah)

Whosoever stands up (in prayer) at the Night of Power out of faith and hopeful of reward, all his past sins will be forgiven.(Targhib)

and on when exactly is the date of Laylatul Qadr, Aisha r.a reported that the Prophet said:

Search for the Blessed Night in the odd (nights) from the last ten (nights) of Ramadhaan (Bukhari).

Aisha also narrated that when asked on what should she said when she find Laylatul Qadr, the Prophet replied:

Al-laa-hum-ma in-na-ka ‘afoow-wan tu-hib-bul-’af wa fa-fu ‘an-ni.

O Allah! You are Forgiving, You love forgiveness, so forgive me. (Bukhari)

do you seriously think this is an offer to be missed?

one last additional tips: prepare your dua on what you want to ask from Allah, (write them down so you don't forget!) and ask from our Lord, Ar-Rahman, with the most sincere heart!

May Allah have mercy on all of us. May all of us find the Night of Power this year in the last ten days of Ramadhan. Ameen.

chingu and jae suk

2010-08-25T06:15:00.002+08:00

a picture is worth a thousand words they said.

anger management

2010-08-24T15:44:00.002+08:00

it seems like i snap quite instantaneously lately. it take only one nano second to pissed me off badly even though it is really, something small.

Allah help me.

just another year

2010-08-24T10:36:00.004+08:00

today, i turn 22 and i want to be honest. i don't like a pretty big chunk of what i am studying for my degree right now. i only tag along very well and enthusiastically for only very few subjects, and almost all of them are not my major subject. namely, economics, finance and well, i think marketing.

nothing interest me a bit about accounting. today i sit and wonder why actually i took this major in the first place. this brought me back to that one point in my life where i actually made this decision. and that one point was when i read an article in the star education section regarding the famous consulting firm, accenture. that's pretty much it, i jump into this decision because i really wanted to worked at accenture. and i still want to work at accenture for some months or years in my life.

at some point i wish i can drop out and go on a self discovery journey to actually find out what i really want to achieve academically. unfortunately, this is malaysia and your parent will most likely freak out and try to persuade you to go through it anyway. i also honestly believe most people back then actually do what the society expects of them, instead of doing something they genuinely love doing. so, they will probably nag me big time on that. (and then the whole your whole life thing will creepily join the discussion and undeniably the 'i-told-you-to-study-bla-bla-bla-didn't-i??')

and also given the fact that i am on a pretty big life destructing loan scheme to support my studies, i MUST AND HAVE to finish up my studies with flying colours. (that means first class to convert the loan into scholarship) Ya Rabb, i can only turn to You regarding this. may You smoothen my journey.

this post also made me reflect on something. my time in MMU is running out. i only have around one more year to study here (gasp!) and 6 months of industrial training. chronologically (and ideally i must say), it should something like this after the end of this semester;

mid october 2010 to february 2011 : second sem of third year.

march 2011 to august 2011 : internship days

september 2011 to june 2012 : second and third trimester of my final year.

i don't want to leave MMU. i love everything about my university life. from my friends to all the stupid problems that the MMU management raise and the unnecessarily elongated freaking club meetings. but still, life is about moving on to the next level.

looking forward to level up!!

cross road

2010-08-13T09:46:00.003+08:00

this reminds me of something;

But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life.

-Steve Jobs Commencement address at Stanford University.

shine on

2010-07-30T14:23:00.005+08:00

taken last year in (or at) cameron highlands.

thought for the day

2010-07-28T00:46:00.002+08:00

ken robinson takes months to approve my friend request on facebook. and then today i saw his tweet regarding something. which leads me to this, share your thought about it;

"In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful. But we have lost the way…greed has poisoned men's souls" – Charlie Chaplin, "The Great Dictator"

green movement part 1

2010-07-27T22:21:00.005+08:00

the green movement probably starts back in the 1960's. (in my opinion, the hippies started it) dating back earlier in the history, and back then, still a developing country, america paid a high price environmentally. their rivers were super dirty (one river was so toxic that it caught a fire, check Cuyahoga River for details) the air was full of toxic chemicals and there were even sandstorms hitting places like chicago and new york. these series of events eventually lead the congress to issue a new policy regarding the way they are treating the environment.

ok, enough talking about some place far away, you might ask, why bother about all the events that happened in the past and, those that did not take place in malaysia? well, simply because, i think we are somewhat in the situation where US was at the moment. we have lots of dirty rivers, dusty air, and worst of all, the people with the wrong type of attitude. yes, malaysians and their 'whatever' attitude. (disclaimer: honestly i'm not generalizing here, i know there ARE malaysians out there who cares about the environment and actually doing something about it, please bear this in mind, i'm talking about those who don't obviously)

some earth users make some absurd claims about the actual conditions of earth (take it as they really do not know) some are;

'well, i don't really think global warming is true'

'all these going green project is total crap, they are just trying to con us into something unreal'

'i don't think it will change anything if i do something to care for the environment'

heard this? no? yes? give them some advice.

what can we really do about this? here is a tip;

3R: reduce, reuse, recycle. say it is cliche or whatever you want. this has been proven to work effectively for most people who live by it.

that's is pretty much it. the ultimate tip.

will explain further in my next post in green movement part 2 ;)

Thomas Müller :)

2010-07-21T01:02:00.006+08:00

this year world cup, i was disappointed when i found out that ballack was ruled out of the tournament after he was tackled in the FA Cup final. sobs sobs. i went to the extent of cursing prince-boateng for ruling one of my favorite player from my favorite team. the die mannschaft.

however, surprise surprise, God always has better plan for us. (and the German team, mostly). enter, Müller. you may ask, how did he become the center of attention in the team? simply, he wore jersey number 13. you see, that is ballack's jersey. when you take the captain's number, you must and has to be something.

thomas muller official fifa page picture

it turns out that, well, he is AWESOME! probably one of the best new face in the german squad, alongside oezil and khedira! muller won two award in the tournament, best young player and golden boot award.

he is also cute. drool, najat!

in one of the game with his club, bayern munich

even though i was a bit sad germany did not make it to the final, but well, they were playing exceptionally well this time around.

with his wife. oh well. T_T

finally, i will like to give a lot of credit to Schweinsteiger this time around. he is a brilliant playmaker for the team. :) i think you are awesome basti!

schweinsteiger and podolski. :)

what have you done?

2010-07-16T19:08:00.002+08:00

there are moments in your life when you just wish you are dead.

this is that moment.

i hope i had handled the situation better. i hope i know how to console people when they are down.

i feel like i messed things up this time.

confused

2010-05-23T00:20:00.003+08:00

i am:

extremely confused,

tired,

distracted,

not myself,

wish i had shut up,

sad,

cannot stop this stupid thoughts going on in my head,

and,

wish that i am dead.

and i am leaving for cyberjaya tomorrow. holidays cut short.

when two people think in a different ways, it is hard to keep things straight. i wish i have the ability to control people's thought.

but my wish stops there, besides, i know i do not wish for this to come true.

i am beyond repair for the moment. uh.

for my mother

2010-05-09T12:47:00.000+08:00

"Happy Mother's Day" means more
Than have a happy day.
Within those words lie lots of things
We never get to say.

It means I love you first of all,
Then thanks for all you do.
It means you mean a lot to me,
And that I honor you.

But most of all, I guess it means
That I am thinking of
Your happiness on this, your day,
With pleasure and with love.

it's ok to fake your intellectual capacity.

2010-05-07T01:48:00.002+08:00

say yes to et cetera et cetera.

.....and no to i don't know.

now you know it.

the knowledge is not for us to hold, yet.

2010-04-30T01:32:00.004+08:00

just have to write this now.

today, i didn't start the day right. if you know what i mean.

and from that point on, things were going in the wrong direction. i was supposed to finish my tax assignment by 1pm. that was my personal target for my work. because usually, i can do it. and besides, i only needed two more case to complete the report. but, as i said earlier, things were going in the wrong direction. my concentration was lacking and my stamina was deteriorating quite badly. (walking to campus makes me feel like fainting today)

but, thankfully, there was still some love left, i managed to complete the report by 3pm. i planned to submit the report today, but my plan went a bit bad. the printing shop down here at hb4's printer did a bad print job, and i was without cash at the time. told the sister i would pay later, walk all the way to bank, and then to student centre, and printed the report and paid expensively to them. and unfortunately, the student centre do not do tape binding, so i walked all the way back to hb4, and went i reached at the printing shop, i noticed that the signed agreement of the group was missing. thus i climbed all the way up to 3rd floor, got that one sheet, went down and settle the job. it was TIRING!! i then decided that the report just can't be passed up today. no more strength was left in me.

so, here is actually were the story starts. quite a draggy introduction, no? well. well. well.

so at 6pm, i rented a car and drive to cyberia to pick up adyla. we had long planned to attend a talk that will be given by Sheikh Tariq Appleby, who will be talking about "A Day in the Life of The Prophet". we were so excited about attending this talk, that we dropped behind a meeting we were expected to attend today as hi-com. on my part, i even excused myself from the orientation committee ice breaking session today (which i think must be fun and awesome). but still, i did not think that i was fit enough to run around the campus doing activities.

so we started our journey from cyberjaya around 6.30pm. i actually (thought that) memorized the map (from google map). but after getting off from MEX highway, we got pretty confused. (that usual and normally happened with us) so, i started looking for the direction to KGPA (Kelab Golf Pertahanan Awam) which is located in Mont Kiara using my very very weak knowledge of KL roads. we got stuck in the jam. i got fed up. adyla thought it was fun. she said because she had not experienced KL traffic for quite some time. but i was not having fun. we actually got lost for quite long after getting into PJ, but finally, and after one and a half hour, found a way to Mont Kiara.

but the worst part was yet to come. there was no sign board at all that could direct us to KGPA. we actually drove around the area and Sri Hartamas for nearly an hour to look for the location, but it was useless effort. we decided to stop to refill the fuel at a shell station somewhere in Mont Kiara. as the old saying goes 'malu bertanya sesat jalan'.
thus i asked of the fuel station worker for the direction to the golf club. he gave us a negative respond. i said thank you and went back to the car. i wanted to gave up. but then, i decided to ask again, but this time, to a 40 something guy who was filling in fuel for his car besides our counter. thankfully, he knows exactly where the golf club is! he gave me EXTREMELY CLEAR directions to the location. he even repeated twice. i was so thankful to him! thank you sire! did you get the lesson here? if you want to know where the golf club is, ask the guy with the expensive car. not vice versa.

after getting our instructions, we drift off again and was praying so hard that Allah will smoothen our direction to our destination. i followed all the right roads until one part, where, sobs sobs, we got lost again. at this time, it was already 8.30pm. the talk started at 8pm. but thankfully we managed to u-turn back and somewhat, somehow, miraculously,(see, i am bad at memorizing complicated road directions) found the correct road and finally, VOILA! we saw the KGPA sign board. i actually screamed in the car, shouting at adyla 'OH MY GOD ADYLA!!! yeay!! we found it!!' yes, we were overjoyed with happiness. after all, we had been looking forward for the talk since last week.

but, i guess it was really not meant for us to attend that talk. we actually found the location (it was right in front of me), but i was driving on the wrong lane, and thus had to follow the traffic flow. at that point, it was already 9.15pm. i was very devastated. tried to find a way to u-turn but there was none near by. that was the moment where i actually gave up totally on attending the talk. thus i drove all the way back into KL. i am actually very grateful to adyla for staying cool and calm and cheerful through out the journey. if otherwise, i'm pretty sure things will turn out a bit ugly. thanks dear =)

so, after the failed mission, we decided to go for our dinner. in the hope that good food will cure our sadness. we went to the naan place at jalan medan tuanku and enjoyed some good tasty dinner. and we drove back to MMU after that.

the thing is, i was devastated. if you were with me you could tell it. but, i did one fatal mistake during the journey. only adyla and i know. i think, for that, i don't deserve the knowledge that was being given at the talk today. my reflection of the journey was simple;

the knowledge is not for me to hold, yet. not for us to hold, yet.

15:109 "If the sea were ink for [writing] the words of my Lord, the sea would be exhausted before the words of my Lord were exhausted, even if We brought the like of it as a supplement."

wallahu'alam.

how do you tell a story?

2010-04-27T21:52:00.000+08:00

i'm trying to kill my taxation assignment as soon as possible. however, the online sources decided not to co-operate since this afternoon.

i'm getting killed slowly instead.

exam is approaching. nice right?

thankfully, i don't have two paper on the same day this time around. the gap between the papers are just nice.

____________________________

one lonely night, there was a boy at a train station. as everyone else, he was waiting for the next train to come. he just wanted to get home. tired from his activity that day, he was radiating negative energy that night. couldn't smile, couldn't even keep a straight face. deep in his heart he was wishing for an easier life. everything that he has on his shoulders seems like a very heavy burden at that time.

then, he saw a stranger walking passed him. he keeps on watching this one stranger. a stranger who caught his attention immediately. a blind young man walking with a stick. a stick that guides his movement through the crowd that fills the station. the stranger stop at a spot and stand still. just like the rest, he is waiting for the next train to come too.

a few minutes passed by, and the train many awaits arrived. the boy walked towards the opening door of the train, but his eyes was watching the blind young man. he wanted to help, but something was holding him back. besides, there were many people at the place and he was pretty sure somebody would help him.

but, he was wrong. nobody did help the blind man. everyone just walked passed the him as if he was nonexistent. the boy was astounded. he couldn't believe that nobody among the hundreds of people there did not even care to help. but, one thing for sure, he was one of the hundreds. and he was taking the blame more than the others. he was hesitating about going out and walking the blind young man in, but the beeps indicating the door will be shutting was sounding. the blind young man managed to make it into the train coach in time.

the boy let out a sigh. guilt was still surrounding him. after the bad day, the incident just added more to his disgust towards himself. the feeling of uselessness. he kept on looking at the blind man. and how he have wronged him.

the train was approaching the next stop. the boy got ready to depart the train. in his heart, he was apologizing to the blind young man and hoping and praying to god asking for forgiveness, as well as hoping someone will be nice enough to help the blind young man after he get off the train later off.

much to his surprise, the blind man went out of the train at the same place he did. the first thing that came to the boy's mind was, 'this is my chance to redeem myself today!' but still he was hesitating. but, when he realized that only the two of them came off at that station, he decided to take the action he was supposed to take before that. in a way, he knows, god was helping him to help this soul. he gave his salam to the blind man and told him he will help him up the stairs. the blind man nodded and let out a thankful smile.

after helping him to the ticket counter, the boy asked about his destination. the blind man told him someone will be picking him up. before bidding his farewell to the blind man, he received a gesture that made his day.

"thank you so much brother"

and he went home that night with a heart full of joy.

Tuhan

2010-03-21T23:46:00.005+08:00

Ya Hayya Ya Qayyum

terimalah subuhku dalam hidayat-Mu

berkatilah zuhurku dalam rahmat-Mu

ampunkanlah lalaiku dalam asarku

peilharalah imanku dalam maghribku

redhai isyakku dalam kasih-Mu.

Jumaatku basah dalam as-Sajadah

fajarku syahdu doa Akasyah

pagiku hening restu Haiqal

dhuhaku nyaman

selawat An-Nur Muhammad Rasullulah

tahajudku indah al-Mulk kebesaran-Mu Allah

ar-Rahman ar-Rahim-MU

kekal bahagiaku.

sunat isyrakku mohon rezeki-Mu

Sunat tasbihku mohon ampunan-Mu

sunat hajatku mohon makbul-Mu

terimalah ya Allah

sujud syukurku.

Tuhan,

limpahkanlah aku rahmat ikhlas

hindarkanlah aku riak bias

dalam rahman-Mu ya Allah

nikmat syukur yang indah!

-aminah mokhtar, petikan sajak dari "iman markisa"

as a famous economist once remarked, in the long run, we are all dead! (what i read in corporate finance chapter 1 texts)

2010-03-05T23:45:00.005+08:00

i'm expected to update my blog when adyla-san is bored.

tomorrow, there will be a midterm paper for all accounting students who are taking corporate finance. trust me, it is not an easy subject. as usual, business people like to twist things around and make their life more complicated than it already is. believe me, only geniuses can handle complicated. muahahahahahaha! (high on numbers and formulas and NPVs and EACs)

i wonder why people love to create stress for themselves. life can be simple, but we make it complicated. again, living a simple life will be boring. i do not want that. complicated is exciting. simple is boring. the reason is as simple as that.

there have been quite a number of child abusing cases in the past two weeks. the first was syafia humairah, allegedly abused to death by her mum's boyfriend and the quite recent one was Hareswarra, who also dies of abuse. they are in a better place now. far from being further abused by those who are responsible of loving them. beautiful young souls dying in the most unimaginable way. while some married couples are trying all they can to have their own children, some are abusing their's to death.

what is happening in our society? are we losing our empathy and morality? aren't toddlers and kids meant to be loved and taken care of by us adults? we are violating our agreements with Allah when we we let this immoral behavior taking place in our society. we maybe a progressive nations in terms of economy, politics(question marks), science and technology, but we are moving backwards socially.

that's what happened when everyone just stop caring about each other and got into a disease called 'jual ikan'.

i think i hate politics. politics bring out the worst in people. perak circus bores me. i'm getting sicks of MP's who keep on hopping from one party to another or to be independent of any affiliation to a party. i wonder what is in their mind. do they really keep our best interest in their heart? or their own best interest in heart? i'm also sick of politicians trying to taint each other names. why can't they just work hand in hand to achieve their goals. as someone said; we all have more things in common than difference. sadly, we love to highlight as many difference as possible to create a deeper gap between us humans.

i really want to watch 'my name is khan'. many who had watched said it is an inspiring movie. i hope i'll be able to watch the movie in cinema after coming back from my midterm break. after all, kajol and shah rukh khan are the main cast. hihihihi. anyone in for the movie?

i'm looking forward to my trip to cameron tomorrow with usrah. the last time i visited cameron was 10 years (plus plus plus) back with my family. i told adyla my main reason for wanting so badly to visit cameron. the reason is so off the real objectives and wrong. but still, ngeee~~ XD

that's all for today.

self control, anyone?

2010-02-27T18:48:00.005+08:00

"Controlling other people is a sign of power, but controlling yourself is the sign of true power." Sh. Yasir Qadhi

i came across this saying from a friend's post on facebook. what do you think about it? :) my first reaction was, this is just so true! have you been in the situation were you feel so hopeless or helpless about yourself, as you are unable to control yourself? i'm pretty sure many of us had been in this dreadful situation.

for example, when your exam is next week, you find yourself wanting to revise all your notes and prepare properly for the test. but, along the road, add in the external influence(s), you find yourself are drawn to,say, facebook, online video game, movies, music, club activities and all the nonsense.

so, you might be the most important person in the country and have power over a large number of people, but if you fail to control the one single being that is the most important to you; yourself, it shows that you fail. honestly, you have no real power after all.

something from the quran:

chapter 'Ali Imran, verses 15 to 17

15: Say: Shall I give you glad tidings of things Far better than those? For the righteous are Gardens in nearness to their Lord, with rivers flowing beneath; therein is their eternal home; with companions pure (and holy); and the good pleasure of Allah. For in Allah's sight are (all) His servants,-

16: (Namely), those who say: "Our Lord! we have indeed believed: forgive us, then, our sins, and save us from the agony of the Fire;"-

17: Those who show patience, Firmness and self-control; who are true (in word and deed); who worship devoutly; who spend (in the way of Allah); and who pray for forgiveness in the early hours of the morning.

carpe diem

2010-02-24T23:03:00.002+08:00

Tu ne quaesieris, scire nefas, quem mihi, quem tibi

finem di dederint, Leuconoe, nec Babylonios

temptaris numeros. ut melius, quidquid erit, pati.

seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit Iuppiter ultimam,

quae nunc oppositis debilitat pumicibus mare

Tyrrhenum: sapias, vina liques et spatio brevi

spem longam reseces. dum loquimur, fugerit invida

aetas: carpe diem quam minimum credula postero.

translation:

Don't ask (it's forbidden to know) what end

This can't be right. Don't play with Babylonian

fortune-telling either. It is better to endure whatever will be.

Whether Jupiter has allotted to you many more winters or this final one

be wise, strain the wine, and scale back your long hopes

to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have {already} fled.

Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the next

terengganu: chapter 2

2010-02-10T13:36:00.004+08:00

continuation of chapter 1 of terengganu.

at the end of the first day, mr bakhtiar conducted a heart to heart (?? i actually don't know how to name this session?) with all the participants. to be quite honest, i believe that this session has produced some good outcomes towards the whole event schedule. i'm not sure if they might have just carry on with all talks sessions if some student reps did not voice out their dissatisfaction towards the flow of event. however, on an opposite side, i feel that some comments and remarks made were just childish.

'oh, i do not want any military like camp!' (military? seriously? waking up early in the morning and lining up is military?)

'crap, can't we wake up at 830am or 9am? i can't wake up at 730am!! my brain don't allow me' (so, we came all the way to terengganu to sleep?)

'i do not want an old man giving us advice. we are the younger generation. the old man will never comprehend to our situation.' (.....)

note: the final remark was heard on the final day. i despised the person who wrote that. absolutely 'brilliant'.

so, this particular talking session was dragged into the middle of the night. nevertheless, some outcome was achieved.

day 2 started off with morning prayer and breakfast. all of us we separated into groups in the prior day, as day two was all about team work. first of all, all group was assigned to a facilitator. during the first session of the day, all groups get to know each of our facilitator up close. and as for my group, we got a very impressive facilitator. a guy with a passion for expensive sports. yes, you read that right, he work very hard earlier in his life(and he is only in his mid thirties) just in order to be able to enjoy the things he loves doing, riding horses and driving old school cars (with upgraded engines of course). he told us a lot about his experiences and the importance of not giving up. he also took efforts to dig as much stories as we were willing to share with everyone else in the group and gave his opinion whenever he sees fit.

while talking, an officer in the camp came in and gave our group leader a small piece of paper reading ' semangat kekitaan or esprit d corps. so our facilitator told us that we were to do a presentation on the given topic. the presentation started after our lunch break.

we were the first group who volunteered to do the presentation since all of us wanted to be over with it as soon as possible. the whole presentation process was a very good experience since you get to know a lot of different views on one single topics. it felt like the gathering of great minds at one moment. i'm truly impressed with what some of the participants had to say about the importance of unity and all. i took some notes but i can't share it with you now.

day 2 ended on a high note. day 3 was going to be so much better! (outdoors!)

again, to be continued, i have to leave my laptop now!!

p/s: i just noticed some crap spelling mistake i did in the previous post. (like 'internal' politics, meant to write international.

terengganu: chapter 1

2010-02-03T18:58:00.005+08:00

this is a pretty late update about my recent camp in terengganu.

a few days before the start of new semester, shuhada ask me if i want to attend a camp, as a representative of usrah institution. (then, the place was unknown) i was a bit reluctant at first, but i said yes anyway.

three days before leaving, i was informed about the said location and duration of the camp. (5 days and terengganu!) i was delighted at the prospect of getting to land my feet again in terengganu but not the 5 days! (skipping some of my first lectures? not an attractive prospect) so, i called up my president and told him i was not going. to add to my predicament of not going, i suffered from an injury during gym session the day before. (i exaggerated the pain)

however, thanks to some unknown reason (even i don't know what came into me) i later decided to attend the camp anyway. so, the same old routine of messaging the president and told him that i change my mind, again. =___="

and i didn't manage to find another member from usrah who actually wants to go until 1 day before we were supposed to depart from MMU. and the other person is thankfully, my lovely and nutty vice president kak ain.

so, on the said day, (21 january) all of the participants, around 70 people, gather at stad building before leaving. by the way, i also found out that everyone else who were joining the camp are clubs and societies presidents and their vices. i guess somebody forgot to informed me and kak ain before hand that this was a presidents' council binding camp. however, since we were already there, we just acted like one. there was a briefing session given by mr omar (stad manager) and mr bakhtiar (stad councilor) once the briefing was done, we aboard the bus. (at first, i fear that we had to take MMU buses, but thankfully, it wasn't. the nightmare of my last trip to port dickson with mmu bus still lingers in my head, the noise and everything)

hence, starts our extremely long (and extended) journey to terengganu. our camp location was besut, so we had to take the road that is usually taken when you are heading to kelantan. we had in total three stops during the journey, the first one was at genting sempah (for dinner and prayers), the second one was at some isolated petronas (which don't even sell mineral water) in a small town of which i failed to recall the name. and the third stop was in gua musang, where some of us(including me) enjoyed some super late supper or extremely early breakfast.

we finally reached our destination in besut, around 6.15am. the journey itself took almost half a day! (12 hours?) upon arrival, we were greeted by the camp commander, who later assigned all of us to our respective rooms. four in a room for guys and 3 in a room for gals. i think most of us were satisfied with our rooms since it was clean, comfortable, air-conditioned and has it's own bathroom.

our camp had officially begun. after the very very very long journey, we expected to be allowed to rest before actually starting the programme. we were wrong. soon after being assigned to our rooms, we were told to fresh up and gather in the main hall at 830 am for our first programme! complaints were heard everywhere, but we did went to the hall anyway.

much to our dismayed, we discovered that our camp was full of, none other than, talks, talks and more talks!! of course we were pissed off at the prospect of coming all the way to terengganu just to sit and listen to, erm, talks?!!

enter the turmoil period of the camp. there was so many problems that we were concerned about. the first one being the fact that all of the facilitators and emcee, deliver their speech or announcement in bahasa melayu. there was a pretty prominent numbers of international students among us, who seem to be questioning the reason they were drag all the way here just to sit and listen to people talking in a foreign language to them. after some heated debate among the student council reps and the organizer and our stad councilor, somebody came up with some 'genius' solution. oh, let us separate the international students of MMU from their local counterparts! thus, in order to 'avoid' communication problem, the organizer brought all the international students away. they told the rest of us that they would be conducting a special session with them. we were splitted into two group for the whole day!

the day was filled with session of the importance of being patriotic and internal politics. by the end of the day, we were all to weary, angry and a mix of hostile feeling towards the whole event. and to make it worse, we were still super tired from the long journey!

to be continued (sebab aku di library dan kena balik)

the class

2010-01-05T23:46:00.007+08:00

well, i finally finished reading the class by erich segal. i took quite some time to finish it. the book was great and i'm facing frustration now. why this and why not that kind of frustration. just to add, i believe this is one of the novel that i will like to re-read again, and again and again. i don't think anyone will ever get bored with this masterpiece.

my usual advice would be, if you are planning to read the book, do not, i repeat, DO NOT read any description from wikipedia. you might as well forget about the whole idea of reading it, as in my opinion, wikipedia gave away too much information when it comes to books description. the anticipation and thrill of what is to happen will no longer be there.

the class is about the life of 5 harvard guys from class '58, starting from their childhood (sketchily mentioned, but all the important point you need to know about them were explained in details), the years they spent in harvard and after graduation. the five guys are, jason gilbert, andrew elliot, theodore lambros, george keller and daniel rossi.

my favorite part of this book are the andrew eliot's diary entries. they are, in my opinion, some of the best fractions of this book. some of my favorites are:

andrew eliot's diary, december 20, 1960

i'm getting married tomorrow. it should be very interesting.
.......
i'm sure it will be a joyous experience - especially if I can figure out how this all happened to me so quickly.

from one standpoint, i could say it was parental pressure. although in our family that doesn't exist. my father merely suggests things.
.......
matter of fact, love is one of the few subjects on which my father had such strong feelings that he actually expressed them in a four letter word. we were out fishing on the lake a few days later and i mentioned how touched i had been at ted and sara's wedding. and how they were my ideal of what a loving couple should be.

dad looked at me with eyebrow raised and said, "andrew, don't you know love is......bosh?" (the pun!!)

(about his relationship with faith)

i would describe our courtship as whirlwind-and i have no doubt that she would term it. in any case, we seem to know so many people in common that i feared the only thing that would keep us from marrying will be some kind of incest by association.

andrew eliot's diary, august 6,1970.

(about his son)

young as he is, andy already says his generation's disgusted with our involvement in Vietnam. and for some reasons he seems to blame in on me. you'd think i was personally dropping napalm on innocent civilians.

"the guy at school all say it's a Wall Street war," he says. as if i were wall street, instead of just a minor bank official.

i try to make him understand that i'm on his side. that i'd actually helped organize an important antiwar march. all he replies is. "that's a lot of crap."

when i told him not to use that sort of language, he retorts since i do, i'm a hypocrite like my whole generation. (now i'm a whole generation!)

and, finally, just a little bit of excerpt from the story of ted lambros and his wife, sara. i just love how the author shows the kind of relationship the two of them have, especially the communication between the two of them.

his son greeted him at the door. here, ted thought, is at least one guy who still thinks i'm terrific.

he kissed sara, and while she prepared dinner, went through the ritual of putting his son to bed. the high point was his off-key rendition of "nani to moro mou, nani," a Greek lullaby.

then he sat down at the kitchen table with sara and gradually removed the mental armor he had worn all day. (i like this part the best, he was so honest with the woman in his life)

"do you feel wretchedly terrible, or just terribly wretched?" she asked gently.

"well, i got through the first day of being a non-person without punching anybody or throwing myself into the Charles (river)"

"that's good," she said, smiling.

you might not get what they are actually talking about, but still, i'm including this as this is another favorite of mine from the book.

another part of their conversation;

It was a warm spring night and Sara insisted that they walk the mile or so to the Whitman's house. She knew Ted needed time to gain some equilibrium.

"Ted," Sara said as he shuffled dejctedly.

"I know there are at least a dozen four-letter words going around in your head, and I think for the sake of sanity you ought to shout them right out here in the street. God knows, I want too scream too. I mean, you got screwed."

" No. I got royally screwed. I mean, a bunch of uptight bastards just played lions and Christians with my career. I feel like kicking in- their goddamn mahogany doores and beating the shit out of all of them."

Sara smiled.

"Not their wives too, I hope."

"no, of course not," he snapped-

And then realizing the childishness of his outburst, he began to laugh. They both giggled for a block until suddenly Ted's laughter turned into sobs. He buried his head on Sara's shoulder as she tried to comfort him.

"Oh God, Sara," he wept, "I feel so stupid. But I wanted it so bad. So goddamn bad."

"I know," she whispered tenderly. "I know"

---

to summarize, the book are very much stories about human beings struggling to do their best in their life. fighting for what they believe in. doing what they think are the best for themselves. most importantly, trying to be happy in the midst of it all. and it was portrayed beautifully in the class by erich segal.

andrew eliot's final diary entry in the book was concluded quite truthfully;

i guess he just didn't know how to be happy.
that's the one thing they can't teach you at harvard.

setiap hari hujan

2009-12-21T19:11:00.007+08:00

rain droplets,

fall you from the skies,

offer my heart a warmness i never knew of.

rain droplets,

fall you from the skies,

offer my heart a feeling of peace i never knew of.

rain droplets,

fall you from the skies,

offer my mind a state i never knew of.

rain droplets,

fall you from the skies,

offer my skin a chill i never knew of.

rain droplets,

fall you from the skies,

offer my eyes a beauty i never knew of.

rain droplets,

fall you from the skies,

offer my life new things i never knew of.

books books and books

2009-12-04T07:25:00.008+08:00

this time around, i'll be writing about books! oh yes, so calling all the book worms, read ahead!

last monday, adyla and me, despite all odds, with a lot of last minute decision being made in our plan, traveled all the way to petaling jaya just in order to attend the books sale organized by big bad wolf. we wanted to travel on public transportation initially, but after some rocket science maths calculation, i found out that renting car will be a lot less burden on our pocket (and feet). thus start our journey!

being highly reliable on the google maps to find our way (and forks) to the destination, we manage to reach within 30 minutes. after arriving, we decided to fuel our energy first with some sandwiches (yeah, tips number 1 at books sale, make sure you are full, or else you will end up spending more on books and drained your bank account[s]) and next was Zuhr prayer. duty to Allah first people. always.

and this was when the thrill began. upon the arrival at the sales, the first insane thing i wanted to do is scream omg out loud, but of course, that would be insane so instead, adyla and i just drift towards the stacks (and stacks and stacks and stacks and stacks) of books calling for us since the day before. most of the books were sold for a dangerously low rm8, and i'm talking about new books, (some with slight deform, and you noticed the word 'some' right, so this was confined only to a number of books) and some are still selling in the major bookstores at retail price. the largest selections available was fiction title. sadly, there are not much choices to non-fiction, the titles available at the time we went were mostly about american politics. (not my cup of coffee) i guess all the great ones were taken.

back to the fictions, most books look boring from the surface (of the stacks), but you really have to invest your time and energy to look thoroughly, underneath, above and everywhere to find great books which was (purposely?) hidden. so after 2 hours plus plus of browsing and selecting books, the finalized purchase made by me was as follows:

the gathering by anne enright
the apple by michael faber
freak of nature by phil whitaker
the princess diaries sixsational by meg cabot (don't lol, but yeah, lol)
only revolutions by mark z danielski
pilgrims upon the earth by brad land
crossword puzzle collection from the sun

(let me know if you want to read any of it) seven title, for rm50!

so next time the wolf is back, make yourself a hunter! (and make sure you hunt it down)

i'll end with something i read in 'the 48 laws of power' by robert greene, i think this will be a life time favorite for me:

law 10

infection: avoid the unhappy and unlucky

p/s for kak ain: books review? insha Allah soon :)

just a quick (abs exercise) updates!

2009-12-03T02:25:00.010+08:00

a few very very hilarious (and educational too!) websites on my list now:

maniac muslim: brother hamza definitely knows how to tell it in a very unique way!

http://maniacmuslim.com/

keeping it halal:

http://www.keepingithalal.com/

the oatmeal: freaking hilarious!!

http://theoatmeal.com/

let me know your feedback! enjoy.

love,

adibah.

dear friends

2009-11-17T22:15:00.012+08:00

yesterday, all my troubles seems so far away, now it looks though they are here to stay....john lennon in "yesterday"

dear friends, have you come across this verse in the Quran:

"Allah burdens not any soul beyond its capacity. It shall have the reward it earns, and it shall get the punishment it incurs. Our Lord, do not punish us, if we forget or fall into error; and our Lord, lay not on us a responsibility as Thou didst lay upon those before us. Our Lord, burden us not with what we have not the strength to bear; and efface our sins, and grant us forgiveness and have mercy on us; Thou art our Master; so help us Thou against the disbelieving people."

(Al Baqarah, Chapter 2 verse 287)

perhaps you have read this before. perhaps not.

we live among people. and people are troublesome. and eventually, we get mad, annoyed, angry and even grow hateful.

especially to the one who don't put much thought into their actions, words and attitude towards other. and they didn't realize their actions affects those around them in many ways.

but reflect back on the verse, for Allah promise us not to burden his slaves with something He knew we will not endure. and isn't He the All-Knower? never ever doubt this.

take it as a test on you. and maybe, it is time to stop asking 'why me?' or 'why always me?' and 'why not he/she?'

but instead ask 'why not me? i'm strong enough. i can take this. and i can do this'

we are tested in many ways from time to time. oxford dictionary define test as:

a procedure intended to establish the quality, performance, or reliability of something.
a means of testing something.
a difficult situation that reveals the strength or quality of someone or something

it is obvious that the purpose of tests and challenges are to give us strength and define us as who we are today, tomorrow and so on.

trust me, we need strength to survive in this cruel world. be it physical or emotional.

all the best.

this is an idle post

2009-11-07T02:09:00.001+08:00

when i have ;

assignments report to write,

novels to read,

a room to clean,

laundry to wash,

papers to organize,

i wasted the whole night customizing this abandoned blog. what a waste. sigh.

something to ponder upon

2009-10-26T22:26:00.004+08:00

Have you heard about the famous research study done on a clique of young goldfish? They were raised in a luxuriously long aquarium with a pesky glass wall smack down its middle. Every time these goldfish tried to swim to the far side of the aquarium—ouch—they'd hit their little fish noses on the glass wall's hard surface. Eventually, the goldfish were resigned to their limited swimming options and stayed swooshing around in the half-size aquarium, which they now recognized as home.

After a few months, the researchers removed the glass wall, allowing the goldfish full reign to swim wherever their little gills could gather speed to take them. Guess what? The goldfish never tried to swim to the other side of the long aquarium. Although the goldfish were no longer stopped by that glass wall, they were stopped by their limiting beliefs. They became prisoners of their past life conditioning!

Are we humans any better?

seachange 2009

2009-10-13T21:17:00.003+08:00

if you are in for change click on the link below :

http://youthsays.com/seachange/go/mvq

the finale

2009-09-27T11:30:00.007+08:00

i'm trying to stuff tissues into my nose right now. seriously, the last thing you need a couple of days before exam is bad health condition. currently experiencing runny nose and allergies. you just can't concentrate. i always boast on my strong immune system but it's not doing me any good since yesterday. just took my medicine and pretty sure i'll be out in half an hour. damn the side effect.

yesterday, fathin and i walked to cyberia to buy dinner. lesson learned. bad foods with sky high price. damn the restaurant owner.

done for today. i will probably blog a lot during exams to channel my negative thoughts. read, probably.

the post

2009-09-02T19:35:00.008+08:00

pathetic is sipping your nescafe and eating a pack of 'nasi campur' for the glorious fast breaking ceremony in front of your laptop. in front of your laptop, i re-typed. i miss home, i miss my mum, my dad, aiman and the two monkeys. (they are popularly known as my siblings). i'm also missing the luxury of hot shower that you don't get to enjoy in MMU. what else in this kind of weather. cyberjaya is the new(temporary) antarctica before it turns back to being the boring, skin piercing hot saharan desert. i'm exaggerating, as usual.

after a long hiatus, probably due to the fake writer's block i claimed to have, i'm feeling the need write again. hahaha. honestly, i just read something so good, i think i should be able to write something of the equivalent. (???) of what on earth did i read, i'm not planning to share it here. you can im-ed me personally if you think you wants to read it.

first of all, i will like to wish all of my friend, happy ramadhan. not too late, we are only one week through. may this month of 1001 benefits make some of us reflect on our life and make the changes which are necessary, for the better..of course.

two days ago was 31st august, the day that marks the beloved nation of ours turning 52. seriously, i didn't see much optimism about the future of the land from my contemporary peers. one of my close friend(will be later mentioned as the mysterious fb girl) posted something like this 'happy 52nd birthday malaysia! and many more corruption to come!' (i'll re-check later since i'm unable to access her profile now) while for another friend of mine is so optimistic, happy and was singing along to the 1Malaysia songs!! the two are of course, two extreme polar case, but i see more of the first case situation usually. (why am i using the word case, are you both my guinea pig? muahahahahaha) honestly i admit i'm in the same boat with the mysterious facebook girl. this reminds me to what just recently happened in Japan, when the Democratic Party won the general election, replacing the old LDP. if i remember it right, an enlighten political analyst said that the people of Japan are just so sick of LDP that they will vote for any other party that is running against it. regardless of anything. are we not in the exact situation? (last year march 8th, i wonder why anyone should be in shocked)

end of that. let's move on.

i recently bought a book suggested by a friend 'the 4 hour workweek'. first thing first, he should have warn me about the price of the book. lol. secondly, i just have to say, the book is great. the ideas are fresh and inviting. i'm in the opinion that you should read this if you are already reading this post. i can lend it to you if you want.

i am also reading machiavelli's famous work 'the prince' which drag me to me confusion, great quotes and some leadership tips. the book is about how to run a country after all. my favorite so far is 'for man injure either from fear or hatred'. just so right. book owner, i'll return it to you tomorrow. this book really is not for relaxation read.

will write again, when i feel like it again.

p/s : i love my new obsession! haha

click for magnified version (not sure whats wrong with previous post)

2009-08-10T01:37:00.003+08:00

so, i do update my blog

2009-08-06T22:12:00.019+08:00

currently at home, it's the midterm holiday. but i am going back to cyberjaya tomorrow. i am not feeling sad having to leave home so early, but i am not happy about it either. the only thing i'm looking forward to is to fix up my studies. i was not neglecting it for the past two month. but i was not paying enough attention, and i was not sacrificing enough time towards it.

---

ok, that was written a couple of days ago, i left it unpublished. right now, i'm back in MMU, class starts tomorrow, and gladly, i only have one class to attend tomorrow. the convocation is still on. tomorrow will be the last day of it all. misery over. haha.

i just, you read that right, JUST realize, that i have 2 submission and presentation next week. the current WIP on both of it is literally only 10%. (i was about to say zero) i will also be following nunu and fara to Les Copaque this week for their interview session.

on saturday, two of my seniors graduated. to kak wadah and fuad, a big congratulations to you both. the future is all yours, go grab it. :D

just when i thought i don't have to see mr omar anymore, a friend assigned me to help her with something that need mr omar's involvement. scheisse.

i'm pretty bored at the moment, if you noticed, i was heavily on facebook the last three days. wow, i seriously loathe the facebook pandemic.

today, i came across a picture that cracks me up. those tagged in facebook, here is the treat again. those who are not, just read it.

that's all for now. will write again soon.

Seminar on Muslims and non-Muslims Relation

2009-07-24T00:49:00.008+08:00

COME AND JOIN US NOW!!

it's a dark alley, get yourself out

2009-07-20T02:49:00.007+08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR

RRRRRRRRRRRRRR

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

too lazy to blog, my activity yesterday

2009-07-19T22:50:00.004+08:00

only if you are feeling free. about my activity yesterday, blogged by adyla, read it here.

yeah, i'm that lazy and busy and down and hurt.

i don't know, this is haunting and meaningful

2009-07-19T22:40:00.003+08:00

i don't actually like the song at first..

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

-poetry at it's best-

daicon

2009-07-17T01:22:00.022+08:00

some pictures from daicon..

attack of the clone..courtesy of gacc..

emm..

em, don't know who is she too...but the figurine is pretty

with obi wan kenobi. hehe.

the miniatures..

ryuk from death note...

pirates of the carribean with g.i joe??

the cutie foursome..

gandalf straightened his hair and beard. ><

i don't know who they are..